This is My Crowd

This is My Crowd
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Monday, January 30, 2012

String Theory - Old Blog Repost from 10/13/2008

Please note that I am simply reposting this from my old Myspace blog (remember myspace??).  I didn't edit it or even check it for badly constructed sentences.  You have been warned.


So, I was watching a program about the Theory of Everything last night, which includes String Theory. String Theory is described as follows:

"We have this idea that the basic constituents of nature are these vibrating strings, that their vibrational patterns dictate the properties of particles, and they dictate the kinds of forces at work in the world. Force particles are also associated with particular patterns of string vibration and hence everything, all matter and all forces, is unified under the same rubric of microscopic string oscillations—the "notes" that strings can play." (Brian Greene)

"In a nutshell, the fundamental particles of the Universe are not made of different material, but the same material. The reason they display different characteristics is because their internal strings are vibrating differently. If string theory is correct, the sum total of the unimaginably small vibrating strings equates to the harmonic symphony of the Universe we see around us." (Dr Duncan Copp)

Photo by Worradmu

Please note that neither of the past two quotes are from Christian or religious sources. Google them and see for yourself.

Anyhow, as I was watching this program all of a sudden a thought struck me to my core, that Genesis describes the creation of this universe as being caused by God's spoken Word. It wasn't His thoughts or an action on His part, but His Word. So, it seemed so fitting that a sound would be at the core of everything and that it is but the tone of each sound that would dictate form. After considering it, I assumed I couldn't be the only person who would have thought of this... and I wasn't. The following is an article that I found that was pretty interesting. The only thing it doesn't touch on that I want to look into is the idea of the power of our words. The Bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. God makes a real point of how we are to control what we speak as well as the power of confession. Further, we know that there is power in praise and thanksgiving. Not just thanking and praising God in our minds, but verbally. It is no wonder that music plays such a large part in both our relationship with God AND in our cultures. If at the center of everything is the voice of God, how appropriate is it that we would be moved by music. Further, in Luke 19, as Jesus is entering Jerusalem, the Pharisees condemn those praising Jesus so loudly and isn't it interesting that Jesus responds "I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out!" I never understood this verse until now! How could stones cry out or emanate sound? Because at their very core is the sound of Gods voice and He has declared who Jesus is! So why would mere stones not confirm this? I'm going to dig deeper into this... Enjoy the following article though. It definitely touches on alot of what I've been studying and hearing. I just think it's wonderful that at the core of so many biblical foundations is SPEAKING and HEARING, and the top minds of our time have concluded that sound is at the core of everything! That's great!!!

String theory, Extray Dimensions and the Symphony of Life
by: Andre Rabe

There's a lot of talk these days about extra dimensions. A scientific theory that has received much attention lately is called 'string theory' and suggest that there are many more dimensions than what we currently observe. If you are interested in that type of thing, I found this web-site very interesting: 'Elegant Universe'.

When mankind discovered the atom, many thought that it was the smallest particle that matter consists of, but pretty soon we understood that an atom consists of protons, neutrons and electrons. But what are they made of? Further investigation unveiled quarks! But what are they made of? A central concept to string theory is that the smallest components of matter are small bits of energy vibrating like the strings on a violin. These vibrations form a cosmic symphony which is at the heart of all reality. In the same way as a violin can produce many variation of musical notes, these strings, vibrating at different frequencies, form all the fundamental particles of the reality we observe. Our universe is the beautiful symphony produced by the resonance of all these vibrating strings.
I can't but see the significance of Heb 1:3 speaking of Christ " … upholding and sustaining and propelling the universe by His mighty word of power." At the core of all reality is the sound - the sound of God's voice that spoke creation into being - the Voice that never grows dim, but continues to sustain all existence.

As mentioned before, string theory also suggest the existence of additional dimensions. There is indeed another dimension referred to in the scriptures - whether it has anything to do with string theory or not, I don't know yet. However, the scriptures reveal a dimension that existed before time & space; before creation; before the existence of evil …. In this eternal realm, the purpose, the course, the duration and final destination of time and space was planned in meticulous detail before it even began. What happened in this dimension is of direct consequence to your existence!

Paul wrote about this dimension or realm in a letter to the Ephesians: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ Who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realm! He chose us ,identified and named us as His own in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be set apart for Him and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love. For He destined us to be revealed as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will."

Before our milky way was formed, before our sun ignited, before Jupiter or Mars began their orbit, before the earth was able to support life … you were planned and named for a very specific purpose. You predate the dinosaurs! You began way before your conception. "Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days of my life were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them." (Ps. 139:16) It is this realm, this eternal dimension, that preserves the truth about you. In our temporal, time-bound realm there might be many events, circumstances and experiences that tries to contradict the truth about you … but they are as shadows compared to the unchangeable truth about you that has been decided before time began and will remain the only truth after time has come to an end. What is this truth about me, you might ask? You were made to be loved; You are blameless in His sight; You were chosen, identified and named in Christ before creation, as such you are more than a physical creation - you belong to that eternal realm; you belong in Christ. You are an offspring, not of creation, but of the Eternal One.  

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

One of the Many Problems with Religion... From One with Religious Tendencies

God talks to me in the shower.  Is that weird? 

Photo by Mikumistock

I never thought it was, but then I started thinking about the fact that it happens often.  The best I can come up with is that it's in the  shower that my flesh goes on autopilot.  I go through the same series of events in the same order every time and I don't have to think about it.  Ok.  Sometimes I shave my legs, but that's really the only variable. 

In those moments when the flesh is distracted, is perhaps then that I'm most open to hearing Him more clearly.

What's even funnier, is if you reread the above out of the context of how NOT crazy I am, one might be amazed that I have access to a computer, maintain regular employement and legally care for minors. 

Moving on.  So, the other night I hopped in the shower and as I was going through my regularly scheduled program, I heard the question, "Do you trust the tithe or do you trust Me?" 

My first thought was "Oh dang, is God messing with my entire foundation on finances God's way after my husband finally got on board?  Why, God, why?"

Then God brought to mind people who had hit financial hardship and had started to question God's faithfulness after being faithful tithers themselves.  For those reading this wondering what the "tithe" is, it's the Biblical principle that establishes giving 10% of one's income to their local church.  I'm not going to debate the topic on any level, so save any comments arguing against the tithe (in part or totality), against the Bible or against God, for that matter.

After recalling how a few people I know became bitter after falling on financial hard times, they kind of gave upon on God.  I'm sure that they might argue that they hadn't given up on God entirely, but their behavior changed drastically as a result of their disappointment in God's reaction to their situation.  They stopped giving and eventually stopped going to church, beyond those external evidences of Christianity, I could not say what their prayer lives or person bible study time looked like and I won't even venture a guess.

Back to the question:  "Do you trust the tithe or do you trust Me?"

Now, by all accounts, our financial situation is not ideal.  We are currently operating on a paycheck to paycheck system, but both my husband and I are trusting that God has already established a light at the end of the tunnel and regardless of what that looks like, we will trust Him.  In our giving, we are saying that: 1) we support the spreading of the Gospel, first and foremost, 2) we are obedient to His Word (both in the Bible and specific things He's spoken to us), 3) we support our local Church and 4) we want God involved in our finances.  In addition to all of this, we are also saying that we trust God.  That is the intent anyway.

If I am not mindful, there is a potential to begin trusting the tithe more than I trust God.  This may sound odd to you, but think about it, Malachi 3:10 says "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it."  If I do not immediately see the manifestation of the windows of heaven being thrown open or if I find myself facing hardship after a season of increase, my knee jerk reaction may be to call God a liar and stop doing the right and necessary thing.   

What may not be immediately obvious is that this reaction may be a result of my trusting my part of the tithe and not God's sovereign will, A.K.A. religion.  As people that tithe, I think there is a greater chance of it becoming a religious exercise, so at what point does our heart disconnect from God's heart and begin to attach itself to our own desires and we begin to have faith in our own giving.  I believe that point is where we start looking at our circumstances and letting them define God and His faithfulness. 

Prayer works, but only because God is faithful, not as a result of anything I've done. 

Tithing works, but only because God is faithful and generous, not as a result of my "generosity".

Salvation works, but only because of the Grace of God and His limitless mercy.

Jesus works, but only because He loved us first. 

Yes, pray.  Yes, tithe.  Yes, do things God's way, but not as a formula for success, but because you love and trust a God that is worthy of all that you have.  The rest will fall into place as a result of God's love and faithfulness.

This, of course, is a message written to me, about me, but I wanted to share it too since it was just so good. 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Dreams are a funny thing, and by dreams, I don't mean the imaginations we experience as we sleep each night, but rather those desires buried in our heart.  We dig them up, dust them off, look at them and then bury them again, like a dog with a bone.  Or at least that's how I do it.  You may be different.  Up until a year or so ago, my dreams remained so untouched that I couldn't even tell you where they were buried.  The ground was compacted and hard over them from being walked over for such a long time. 

Photo by Dan

It's easy to allow life to become a grind, in fact, a daily grind.  Though it's a clever name for a coffee shop, it's also a good picture of what life can become if we're not careful.  I'm still digging dreams up even now, but as I sit in the dirt of my life and poke around, it's becoming more fun... more like a game and less like work. 

One great example of a buried dream discovered is my husband, Rob.  Now, he doesn't know I'm writing this, so I'm thinking it'll be a bit of a surprise, but that's how I roll.  If you are unfamiliar with the recent turn of events, he's become a tattoo artist.  Now, I know what you're thinking... I didn't know Rob was an artist of the graphic sort and that's what I thought too!  If you DID know that, I am standing to my feet even now and applauding you.

I can confess to you that when he first tossed out the idea of becoming a tattoo artist, I caught the idea, promptly stabbed it with the dream killer pocket knife I keep handy, and then tossed it back to him deflated and dead.  Yep.  Call me dream killer.  Now, I could give you all kinds of logical reasons I did that to him, many of which you would probably nod your head at and some, perhaps you might not.  But, that doesn't matter.  The truth is that when you are not living your dreams, or even know what they are, it's super easy to walk around killing other peoples dreams.  What's the old saying?  "Misery loves company." 

Fortunately, Rob persisted and took my minor deconstructive surgery to his dream as fuel to fire his passion and God stepped in and did some work in me too.  So, in the way that I can be supportive, I am.  I am ever grateful that Rob didn't break and God corrected me because if not, then I wouldn't have been witness to God's incredible Grace on another human being.

There is something almost unbelievable when you witness something unfold that can only be explained by God's Grace.  Yes, Rob was born with artistic talent, but the fact that he has surrendered that talent to God has allowed God to bring about accelerated growth that can't be explained in the natural realm.  And that gives me hope.  Hope that when God says that we'll get back time that was lost or forfeit, it WILL happen. 

Just remember that it is only when we surrender our God given dreams and talents to Him that we see Him work on our behalf with Grace. 

When was the last time you went digging through the dreams you buried long ago?

Monday, January 16, 2012

2012 Goals

So, I realize that I'm a couple of weeks late on the whole New Years resolution idea, but since I never do the whole resolution thing, I'm kind of ahead of schedule (because later is still sooner than never... forget it, moving on).  Even now, I'm not setting resolutions, but I am going to set some goals.  Since, there's no accountability like public accountability, my blog seemed like the best (or worst) possible choice for record keeping. 

Photo by Pixtawan

Here we go!

1.  Read the whole Bible before Christmas.  No skipping.  Not even the genealogies. 

2.  Read at least one book, excluding the books of the Bible, per month.  I'm excited about this since I am a reader by nature!

3.  Write a book.  Even if is only ever a self published e-book.

4.  Hand write proverbs (got this one from Jon Acuff, just thought it was such a good idea).

5.  Run twice a week.  I am NOT excited about this since I am NOT a runner by nature.

6.  Jump out of a plane... with a parachute and strapped to another human being who is trained to do such things.  This is what I'd like to do for my 35th birthday and it makes me sick to my stomach. 

7.  Go out on 12 dates with my husband and hopefully space them evenly over the 12 months.

8.  Volunteer as a Family at the Fresno Rescue Mission or a program they recommend.

9.  Send out 52 hand written letters.  Not sure to who, but I think I can manage 1 letter per week and it's only $22.88 in postage.  Not bad.

Ok.  I think that's enough.  I could keep going, but then at some point, I would realize that I could NEVER accomplish all that I'd set out.  So, there it is folks.  My 2012 goal list. 

Friday, January 6, 2012

Starting Over: A Quick Review of Michael Perkins E-Book

I just finished reading Michael Perkins Starting Over "A Manifesto on Being Yourself".  I've read a few E-Books, but this one was different for both the obvious and more subtle reasons.  At first glance, the differences jump right off the page since it's handwritten; something that, as a follower of Michael's blog, I had grown accustomed to and kind of expected.  Even after having expected it, though, it was still interesting to read through 62 pages of what appeared to be someones notes scratched out on paper.  As a person that often finds herself reading scratched out notes for draft letters and legal documents it was comforting in a familiar way for me.  The crossed out and rewritten words on a couple of the pages reinforced that this poured out of a mans heart and not some brainstorming meeting designed to churn out cleverly post-modern, deconstructed ideas. 

My only complaint is that I didn't think of it first.  But, that too, adds to the truth it tells.  His blog and his E-Book are an expression of his unique voice that God put in him.  By the very nature of the topic, it would become impossible for that to be my idea, and that too is reassuring.  It soothes the parts of me that bristle when I see greatness in others and wonder why I am found lacking.  I too have a voice and creative ideas in me that await only their expression.

Even if you don't realize yet that you are a creative (even if you don't feel like it, you are!), read this E-Book and see if that unique voice God put inside of you can't be found speaking a little louder. 

Click Here to Check Out Starting Over

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Butterfly and The Bee

Here's a little something different.


Photo by Simon Howden
There once was a caterpillar named Zuri.  She spent her days and nights eating and sleeping in intervals.  It seemed that all she did was eat and eat from the moment she broke free from her egg.  One day as Zuri was eating her fourth breakfast of the morning, a bee landed on the flower just above her.  Having inspected the flower for pollen and noticing the fat, stripped caterpillar over the edge of the flower, the bee shouted down "Good morning!"  Without even looking up from her meal, Zuri muttered something that sounded roughly like "Morning." through her mouthful of leaves.  "My name's Kazi." the bee cheerily announced. 

Zuri didn't even glance in the bee's direction. 

"What's your name?"  the bee pressed.  Feeling a bit full and in need of a rest, Zuri licked her lips and looked up at the annoying bee.  "Well" Zuri grinned sarcastically, "Isn't this nice.  A visitor.  Since you insist, my name is Zuri."  The bee smiled.  "Ooo!  That's a pretty name!" 

Zuri started scooting herself towards the stem of the flower so she could take a nap.  Just then, the bee landed on the leaf behind the caterpillar.  "What are you up to?" Kazi queried.  Zuri sighed.  "I'm about to take my mid-morning nap, if you don't mind."

"What's that?" Kazi asked.

"You don't know what a nap is." Zuri said flatly.

"Nope." the bee replied.

"Hmmm.  I wouldn't even know where to begin.  But, here, let me show you."  Zuri said as she laid her head down and closed her eyes.

After watching the caterpillar for about forty-five seconds, Kazi, with a quizzical look on her face said "You're not doing anything."

"That's the point." responded the caterpillar without opening her eyes. "Now, will you leave me to my napping.  I have my breakfast to digest and a full afternoon of eating ahead of me."

"Ok." said Kazi and with that, she flew back to the flower to collect pollen.

Zuri finished off her day just as planned, eating and eating.  She ate her way through most of the leaf the bee had landed on before the sun settled in for the night.

The next day just as Zuri was eating her lunch, she heard a familiar voice coming from the neighboring flower.  "Good afternoon Zuri!"  It was the same bee from the day before.  Since she wasn't the chatting type, she pretended not to hear the bee and continued her meal.  Then she heard "Good afternoon Zuri!" from just behind her.  She thought to herself, "Why does this insect not get the hint!".  Turning her head, she said "Hello.  As you can see, I am busy.  What can I do for you?"  Her voice clearly laced heavily with annoyance.  Any caterpillar would have known she was not genuine in her offering of help.

"Nothing really.  Just wanted to to say 'Hi.', so, 'Hi'", said the friendly bee.

"Hi." replied the caterpillar as though her mouthful of leaves was quite distasteful. 

"So, what are you going to do today?"the bee asked.

"Same as yesterday.  Finish eating this leaf ,then maybe move onto the one over there." she said as she nodded her head toward a brightly colored, untouched leaf on the other side of the stem.  "Then, probably take another nap."

"Cool."  said the bee truly interested by the caterpillars response.  "Sooo, what do you do with the food you eat?  Take it back to the rest of the... whatever you are's?  By the way, what are you?"

"I'm a caterpillar and, no, I don't take food anywhere.  Notice I've not moved much since yesterday?"  dryly responded Zuri. 

"Bu.." Before Kazi could finish the first word of the next series of questions, Zuri interrupted her.  "Look, you seem like a nice, buzzing, whatever you are, but don't you have anything else better to do than bug me?  I have alot to do today and I simply don't have time to teach you the complexities of the life of a caterpillar.  Since you don't seem to respect what it is that I do all day, what is it that you do exactly, Kamikaze, is it?"

Stunned, Kazi replied "My name is Kazi and I don't do much, certainly not as much as you.  I collect pollen and take it back to the hive.  There's some other stuff I do, but nothing significant."

"Exactly.  Nothing significant.  Do you know why I must spend my days and nights nourishing myself and resting?  Do you?"  asked the caterpillar; her voice increasing in pitch and volume.

"No." responded Kazi, her eyes growing large.

"Well.  I must spend my days and nights eating and nourishing my body so that I can become a beautiful butterfly." began Zuri, her head held high "I will outshine even the most beautiful flower in the most beautiful garden, and this fat, lumpy body will become thin and lithe and I will flit and float from flower to flower delicately sipping nectar.  All who see me will be amazed at my grace and beauty and where will you be?  Gathering pollen for who knows what and no one, yes, no one will give you a second glance." 

"Oh.  That does sound important." replied Kazi.  "I can't imagine what it must be like to be so independent, so beautiful and colorful.  Though the pollen I collect goes toward making honey and royal jelly, I'll never shine as brightly as you.  I will never be considered more highly than a flower or any other bee for that matter.  I wish I were a caterpillar too!"

With loathing, pity in her eyes, Zuri, looked upon the sad little bee and said "Well, you can't.  Now go collect your pollen and return to your home and leave me alone."

Zuri never saw Kazi again and Zuri was right; she was highly regarded for her extraordinary beauty.  In fact, humans sitting in the garden admired her while sipping their tea... sweetened with just the slightest taste of honey. 


This story developed as I considered the existence of beautiful butterflies and productive honey bees.  How much we desire to look at butterflies and, yet, we need the work of the honey bee.  Caterpillars gorge themselves for their glory as a Butterfly and Bees gather pollen for the survival of their hive as well as the production of honey, one of the most intriguing and unique concoctions that God invented.  I'm not saying that simple beauty doesn't have its own purpose, it has it's place, but I wonder if there aren't alot of bees acting as though they might become butterflies.

Let me know your thoughts!!  It's one of the first short stories I've posted.