Inherited Religion

I come from a long line of Christians.  In that lineage are Catholics and Non-Catholics, evangelists and prayer warriors, pastors and missionaries.  Ok.  The missionary thing came along with my younger brother, but as a lineage with bi-directional implications, a couple of missionaries are in there.

You get my point though, right?  It would seem that ministry work, or at least religion, might be something that is passed down from generation to generation.  Certainly, there's an implication of it in future generations.  Or is there?

In a world where Christianity has apparently become a political leaning/agenda and more of a cultural issue than anything, I wonder what that means for me as a Christian Mom.

Conservatives raise little conservatives, who may stray into the liberal camp during college and  occasionally retreat to their conservative upbringing.  Liberals often find unity in sticking it to the man, that man usually represented by a middle-aged, white, upper-class C(c?)hristian man.  Lines being drawn, erased, moved back and re-drawn, leaving everyone who lay in neither camp, somewhere in the ever increasing gap which used to be "the greater good".

But, this is not a political post.  It's really not, I promise.

I've just recently come to the realization that being a Christ following mother of 4 is somewhat complicated by the fact that Christ is no longer treated as a Person in this country (world?), but more as a box I'm relegated to when discussing social issues.  Though, for me, party lines are irrelevant as it pertains to my firmly held beliefs.  I have registered with a party, with which I share certain values I have deemed as imperative, but I refuse to choose a representative solely based upon an affiliation.

Ok.  For real, this is not a political post.

My point in all of this is this question, "If being a follower of Christ is found in a personal relationship with the Person of Christ and having a life that reflects that relationship, how does one raise children into Christianity?"  If it were simply religion, or a bunch of strictly held social beliefs, it would be easy.  I could simply say, "Do this, don't do that, say this, don't say that." and not care if it meant anything to them, so long as I had a little robot-clone.  However, for me, that could never be the case.

I deeply desire that my children would know what it is to sit in His presence; to pray and truly know that He's listening; to hear the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit speak to them as they navigate this life.  As much as that is my deepest desire for my children, it's something I cannot MAKE happen.  It's also something I would never WANT to make happen.  I don't want to be a fake and I certainly don't want my kids to be big fakes either.

So, the other night, when my son said he wanted to ask Jesus to be his Savior and to start the journey that would make my deepest desire for him come true, I had two thoughts: (1) Have I done something where he feels like he HAS to do this right now, to which I answered no; and (2) Have I done something wrong that he didn't do this sooner, to which I also answered no.  You see, I have a strict philosophy that I will not ask my children leading questions relative to Jesus.  I refuse to encourage them to please me by not being themselves.  I value authenticity in others, and I expect it of myself.

I don't have any great advice, or heartwarming anecdotes in this post.  I just have thoughts.  Thoughts that tell me that Christianity is not some political agenda or affiliation.  Thoughts that tell me following Christ is not about the box I check when I'm filling out hospital paperwork or finding continuity with my families historical penchant for ministry work.  It's about me and Jesus.  That's it.  Further, that's what it has to be for my kids too, and if they can't make that genuine commitment until they are 12 or 32, it must be theirs to make.  

My role is simply to paint such a detailed picture of Christ in (with) my life, that when they meet Him they recognize Him immediately and want Him for themselves.  But, they can't have my Jesus, they have their own picture to paint.    

Ironically, I did not actually paint this picture of Jesus.
I just thought it was cool.

So What Now... Q & A Part 1

So, last week I posted a blog named So What Now?, which was a follow up to a previous post I had written about really assessing my life and, more specifically, how I spend my time.  Neither post was earth-shattering or totally original, but both carry the potential to change my life, if I allow them to really take hold and sink down deep.  A wise man once requested of God:

                     "Search me, O God, and know my heart; 

                          test me and know my anxious thoughts.
                                    Point out anything in me that offends you,
                                              and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

I can, in the very least, simply follow suit.  In light of this, here are the first three questions on my list.

1.  What will this "life" that I'm expecting look like, really?  Can I reasonably assume that it's possible?    

WARNING:  If you are confused, offended, frightened, or angered by the use of words such a "miracle," "healing," "church," "evangelize," "sacrifice," "give," "tithe," or "Jesus" please continue to read under the pretense that I am incredibly sane and of above average intellect.

Illustration by: Idea Go

So, most of the time when I consider my life, I don't really make it much past the last known agenda item on my calendar.  Sad, I know.  I've never been one for 5 year plans or 10 year plans, with incremental increases of success and responsibility.  I've never climbed a corporate step stool, let alone a corporate ladder.  I'm kind of a day to day, week to week, paycheck to paycheck kind of gal.  I don't have a 401k or a retirement plan of any kind.  I suppose my plan is to work until I drop dead, which, come to think of it, isn't much a plan at all.  That being said, something you should also know about me is that I don't care about these things.  I feel as though I have so much to spend time being concerned over for the day at hand, that I don't really have much time to commit to the future.  Yes, I know.  I am in my mid-thirties and have four children, how could I not have a plan?!  It's appalling, I get it.

But, when I consider my future, I don't see retirement and playing golf or knitting.  I'm not saying that those things won't happen, you never know, I may learn to golf yet... or knit.  However, those are not my dreams.  Aside from an occasional vacation, I don't dream of relaxing on the beach or in a condo in Tahoe.  I don't really know what the setting will be for my future, but ultimately, I dream of speaking to ladies of all ages and encouraging them.  Speaking truth and breaking the bondages of the lies of the world.  Praying for people and seeing the miraculous manifest as God pours out His grace and mercy.  To see lives changed and souls saved.   To see love spread like wildfire, never to be contained. 

I dream of watching my children walking this earth with indelible footprints left wherever their feet tread.  I see a life filled with the annointing of God and to see that annointing crash over onto my children and their children like a flood.  That's all.  Short.  Simple.  Sweet.

All that said, I don't intend on going into full time ministry.  All of this in the context of working a secular job and raising a family.

2.  What uses of my time do I employ that I find wasteful?  Take a few moments and jot them down.  Really, think about it.    

Television.  Facebook.  Twitter.  Pinterest.  Movies.  My phone.  Worrying.  Being angry. 

3.  What uses of my time do I employ that I find beneficial?

Studying the Word of God.  Praying.  Reading books that are designed with spiritual growth in mind.  Spending time with my Husband.  Spending time with my children.  Attending church services, bible studies, retreats and conferences.  Connecting with women that I can influence and with women that can influence me.  Writing.  Praise and worship.  Working at my place of employment.  Spending time outside.  Sitting quietly.  Cleaning my house.  Spending my time serving others, be it at church, on my own, or through outreach organizations. 


These are my honest answers for these questions.  I can't wait to get through the next set. 

Please, please feel free to go through and answer these questions for yourself.  How you see your future shouldn't look like mine, or at least it doesn't have to.  Even if you aren't a Christian, these questions are great for doing a little internal inventory, so to speak.  So, jump in and leave a comment below!

What Are You Preparing For?

Last year I got the foggy headed notion that I wanted to run a marathon sometime in the next year or few.  It's a good plan, despite the fact that, aside from chasing my kids, I don't really run. 

Not my kid.  Photo by Chrisroll

After deciding that this was something I was interested in, I began doing research on what other successful start-up marathon runners did to accomplish this goal.  I found out that they adjusted their diet and schedule, reprioritized their lives and also started to... well, run.  After reading many articles, perusing several websites and even going so far as to sign up for weekly emails designed for new runners, I started to get my head around what I would need to do to begin this adventure.  I realized that it would involve adjusting my diet and getting up early and running... like... every day. 

It's been roughly 8 months since the idea floated through my brain and I've done none of it.  Aside from the cute and comfortable pair of shoes I bought, the truth is there is nothing in my life that reflects my goal of becoming a runner.  I sit here today, not one step closer to registering for a marathon, half-marathon or any type of competitive long distance run; in fact, I would venture to say that perhaps I'm further.  Let's be honest, I'm not getting any younger and the donuts I ate for breakfast on Saturday didn't help anything either. 

For the record, running twice a week is still on my agenda for this year (see previous post), but this marathon business may be a 2013 kind of a goal. 

At this point, you are probably wondering where I'm going with this.  No, I'm not converting this blog into a beginning runner's blog or a food blog that tells you where to get the best donuts in Fresno (which, by the way, is Judy's Donuts).  I am, however, going to relate this to a little internal convo I recently had with God.  Mind you, my internal conversations end up being ALOT like take-home pop-quizzes (does such a thing exist?).  In the midst of praying or contemplating scripture He'll drop a question into my head.  It's typically never fun, simple or easy. 

"If you (Brina) want to see the power and anointing that was on Paul and Peter and the other apostles in your life, as you suggest you do to both Me and other people, how is that desire reflected in what you spend time doing?"  (this is my interpretation of the question)

My first response was, "Well, I work." 

"Yeah, so did Paul."

My second response was, "But, I have a brood of children."

"They eventually go to bed and you do have some free time, right?"

My third response was, "Not really, I have laundry to do at night and other stuff.  Plus, I read the Bible, pray, go to church and even volunteer, so that's good, right?"

"So, you do laundry and 'other stuff' every night from 8:30pm to midnight?"

"Well, no, but I should."

This is where God goes silent, leaving me space to ponder.

I hate to admit it, but I watch T.V. and movies on weeknights and weekends to "relax, decompress, check out, rest" or whatever word I can think of, when I'm not doing what I should.  One night I actually set a reward of T.V. following my time in the Word.  Let's just say once I realized that's what I was doing, I didn't watch T.V. that night.  I felt horrible.  I realized that doing what I want cannot be the carrot to "get through" doing what God wants.  Doing what God desires should be its own carrot. 

My point is not to condemn relaxing or T.V. or movies or taking long baths, all of those things can be wonderful and just the thing you need at the end of a stressful week or day.  My point, and ultimately, I think, God's point, is that if I desire to have the results that Paul and Peter and John saw in the New Testament, then I also have to put forth the same effort and commitment.  No, I'm not saying I intend to ditch my family and travel the world, but what I am saying is that if I intend to see what they saw, then there are some things that must become irrelevant in my life, because ultimately they are not just irrelevant to the cause of Christ, but actually take up valuable time. 

In sports, in the business world, in the realm of the educated, basically, in every field of occupation, there are levels and playing fields.  Those levels and playing fields reflect the commitment, training and skill of the people that operate there.  Professional level athletes have put in the time and commitment and have the natural skill that is needed to play at that level.  Neither a mediocre talent with great commitment, nor a great talent with mediocre commitment can ultimately operate at the top of their field, in sports or in business.   

Why would the same not be said for the Christian life? 

Now, I'm not talking about fame or riches, I'm talking about being an effective and anointed force on the earth for Christ.  As for talent, I'm not saying we'll all become worship leaders, or preachers, but 1 Corinthians 1:7 is clear that we lack in no spiritual gift and Romans 8:11 says that we are filled with the same spirit that raised Christ Jesus from the dead.  What I am saying, however, is that whatever it is that God puts in front of us to do, we absolutely have the God given talent/gifting to do that.  So, lack of spiritual gifts can not be an excuse.   

Remember, it requires not just the great talent, but also great commitment.  It is in the realm of commitment where I tend to fall short.  I desire to play ball with the big boys, but my life is reflecting the life of a community league player.  Yes, I'm doing more than some, but has it overtaken my life?  Has it become my identity?

No, these things will not cause God to love me more than He does now.  It's not about being teacher's pet.  It's about my desire and expectation to experience the power of God on one level, all the while, not making the necessary adjustments in my life that are equal to what I expect or can justify those results. 

Again, no, God is not a gumball machine, where if I do and say just the right things at the right times for the right amount of time, He spits out a miracle or two.  I can however expect that as I build up my spiritual muscle's and flexibility; attune my ear to His voice with practice; and step out in faith in the areas He sets before me, then I will certainly see His goodness in the lives of those around me.  How better to prove the goodness of God, then to pray that God heal a sick friend and see it manifest?

I'm not suggesting that everyone must want to operate like Paul or Peter or John, but what I am suggesting is, if that is my expectation, then my life should reflect it.  Perhaps I don't have as much time for fruitless deeds as I thought.  I have to choose, you have to choose, what greatness will we sacrifice for this American dream that hopefully results in 2,080 work hours per year, 40+ hours of vacation time, 2,496 hours of weekend down time and a mix-n-match schedule of varying amounts of holiday time.  Employment can be necessary; housework is necessary, but can be negotiated; commitment to family and community should be a necessary joy; sleep is necessary within reason; the rest of it, we each deem as negotiable or necessary based upon its importance in our individual lives.  What's important to you?  What are you preparing for?           

2012 Goals

So, I realize that I'm a couple of weeks late on the whole New Years resolution idea, but since I never do the whole resolution thing, I'm kind of ahead of schedule (because later is still sooner than never... forget it, moving on).  Even now, I'm not setting resolutions, but I am going to set some goals.  Since, there's no accountability like public accountability, my blog seemed like the best (or worst) possible choice for record keeping. 

Photo by Pixtawan

Here we go!

1.  Read the whole Bible before Christmas.  No skipping.  Not even the genealogies. 

2.  Read at least one book, excluding the books of the Bible, per month.  I'm excited about this since I am a reader by nature!

3.  Write a book.  Even if is only ever a self published e-book.

4.  Hand write proverbs (got this one from Jon Acuff, just thought it was such a good idea).

5.  Run twice a week.  I am NOT excited about this since I am NOT a runner by nature.

6.  Jump out of a plane... with a parachute and strapped to another human being who is trained to do such things.  This is what I'd like to do for my 35th birthday and it makes me sick to my stomach. 

7.  Go out on 12 dates with my husband and hopefully space them evenly over the 12 months.

8.  Volunteer as a Family at the Fresno Rescue Mission or a program they recommend.

9.  Send out 52 hand written letters.  Not sure to who, but I think I can manage 1 letter per week and it's only $22.88 in postage.  Not bad.

Ok.  I think that's enough.  I could keep going, but then at some point, I would realize that I could NEVER accomplish all that I'd set out.  So, there it is folks.  My 2012 goal list.