The True Point of Beginning

The True Point of Beginning as used in reference to real property is defined as "a surveyor's mark at the beginning location for the wide-scale surveying of land".  In my estimation, it is the finite point by which all other points are defined by reference. 

 

God has been speaking to me a lot about identity as of late.  In prayer a couple weekends back, I felt an overwhelming sadness for people who simply do not know who they actually are (that includes me), who they were created to be.  I sense the extent of my spirituality may be revealed more clearly in this post, than in posts past, but bear with me.  The sadness I felt was not my own.  I do not have the capacity to see or comprehend who people think they are, let alone who they ought to be.  It was something much larger and more true than what I am able to conjure.  As a parent, I would compare it to watching your child struggle in life, when you know their potential.  You want to jump in and plead with your child so they would see it clearly, see who they are, see all that they are capable of, and then, possibly, punch anyone in the face that says otherwise.  Maybe you are not as prone to violence as I am, maybe you are; I can only hope I am not alone.

 

Earlier this week, I was feeling nostalgic and decided to find teachings on YouTube by individuals whom I had grown up listening to at a retreat my family was connected with.  On an aside, I feel incredibly blessed that I was able to sit under such incredible teachings in my youth.  Just brain melting type stuff really; in a good way, of course.  One such teaching by one of my absolute favorites, Fr. Jim Nisbet (Google him, he will not disappoint), discussed this idea that we actually move backward in time, as compared to God.  Stay with me, I promise that this is really good and not too terribly confusing. 

 

Picture the final version of you at the end of your life.  The version that has been through the trials and the joys; the miracles and the disappointments; the love and the loss.  The version that stands before the Almighty and hears the words "Well done, my good and faithful [servant/son/daughter/whatever least offends you]."  That version. 

 

Now, picture with me a golden line (you can pick any color, but I like the glowyness of gold) that starts at the final you and races back through time as your life; and creating that line is the fingertip of God.  As God traces out the path of your life, being outside of time and all, He is able to take THE path whose end result is the version of you standing in front of Him and it is then that He calls you into time, via your mothers womb.  So as not to confuse the matter with ideas of predestination and free will, the larger scope of this idea is that this path is based upon the choices we have and will make and that God in His infinite wisdom put us in the chronological time and geological location that will best lead us to Him.  See Acts 17:26-27 (ESV) wherein it says:

 

"And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him."

 

Now, I don't know the theology behind this specific idea, and for the purposes of both this blog and Fr. Nisbet's teaching, it matters not.  The fact remains that God is outside of time, and who He says you are is based upon experience, not hope.  Did you get that?  Regardless of whatever your past says, or your parents say, or your teachers say, or your enemies say, or even your friends for that matter; the fact remains that God's present reality of who you are is there at the point where you stand before Him at the end of this life.  

 

I would submit to you therefore that the True Point of Beginning, the finite point by which all other points in this life find their meaning, is found at the end of your life, when God can scoop you up into His arms and place you into eternity with Him. 

 

While we race along this golden thread we call life, we have the opportunity to embrace who God created us to be, to find our true purpose, if only we would open our ear and heart to hear Him.  So long as we move on a path that does not match up with the True Point of Beginning version of ourselves, He provides opportunities to course correct; and as we struggle to remain someone that we simply are not created to be, He patiently waits, loving us, yet wanting to jump in and plead with us so that we would see it clearly, see who we are, see all that we are capable of, and then, possibly, punch anyone in the face that says otherwise.

 

Ok, maybe not that last part.  But I can hope.              

The Waiting Room

"The radiation waiting room is a special place. A sea of broken people; adults of all ages, children, brain cancer, breast cancer, pancreatic cancer. We exchange knowing glances, we learn each others names, we smile. There is solidarity here and I find myself thankful that I can never un-know that such suffering, such valor, exists. It makes me a better person. It keeps insignificance in it's place." - FB post by a Christian father of a young cancer patient.

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

 

Should this not also be a picture of the Church; vulnerable and broken and honest with one another.  I am not attempting to degrade those that have been tormented by cancer or its treatments.  Let me show you what I mean:

 

"The Church is a special place.  A sea of broken people; adults of all ages, children, liars, cheaters, thieves, the lonely, the brokenhearted.  We exchange knowing glances, we learn each others names, we smile.  There is a solidarity here and I find myself thankful that I can never un-know that such suffering, such valor, exists.  It makes me a better person.  It keeps insignificance in its place." 

 



But this is not what I can say about the Church.  Though it is true that She is a sea of broken people of every age and knowing glances are exchanged, but those glances usually come in the form of judgement.  We do learn each others names, but only because we must out of some unwritten church-going law.  Yes, there are smiles, but they do not often come from a deep place of vulnerability, but rather from the shallows of our facades. 

 

Of course there are places where people are permitted to reveal their brokenness, but they are not the rule.  Most certainly the Church is not perceived as such by the non-church-going sect.  In fact, if radiation treatment waiting rooms were like our churches, can you imagine what you would find there?  Thickly painted, clownish faces and uncomfortable clothes stuffed with padding; some would have no people at all.   

 

Yet this is what we do every weekend, we paint on our smiles and wear our best clothes; tell our kids to straighten up while we tell everyone that we're fine, wonderful, in fact.  We are the sick that sit across from the doctor and say, "I feel great!" all the while we are desperate for help and healing and wholeness.

 

I pray that you find a place that allows brokenness and I pray that you find the strength to allow Jesus to identify it, name it and treat it.

 

 

When Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor, but sick people do. I didn’t come to call righteous people, but sinners.” Mark 2:17

 

 

Dischord. Distress. Distraught.

I should stay off of the Internet.

Much of what I read causes my stomach to turn and on more times than not, just the headlines are enough.

I feel like crying today.  Weeping, really.

If what is happening in the world isn't quite enough, reading all of the crap floating around the world wide web of Christendom isn't any help. 

It's funny, I can read about things that occur outside of the context of being "Christian" and though I might find it sickening or heartbreaking or unfathomable, I understand that mankind is capable of depravity and remind myself "But for the Grace of God go I."

As much as that is bothersome to me, I know that there still remains hope in every situation that lacks Jesus.  Jesus is that hope.  As proved time and again, with Christ there is hope for forgiveness, transformation, grace, peace, wholeness, love... 

Love.

"Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."

That is where I am paralyzed with fear.  In the community that should be so full of love and compassion and grace for one another, we are ravenous.  We are piranhas.

We travel in packs and feed in frenzies.

We feed on the brokenhearted.  We feed on the famous.  We feed on the lost.  We feed on the confused.  We feed on the gentle.  We feed on anyone who we perceive as different.  We feed on anyone who we perceive as "wrong".

In that frenzy, it seems, we gain momentum as others join our ranks.  Our hearts pump with life giving blood, all the more fervently, as we drain the life out of others.  Our skin tingles as our teeth sink deeper and deeper, tearing away at each other. 

"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

There are traumatic events in our lives that can be repaired on this earth and made whole in eternity.  Events that we elevate as being eternal, which are not. 

Likewise, there are choices we make that have eternal consequences, which we demean as not carrying much weight, outbursts that we justify by being "right", stripes we place on Jesus' back in our righteousness.  Choices we determine that are necessary, in our pride.

"By this shall all [men] know that you are My disciples, if you love one another [if you keep on showing love among yourselves]." 

I am grieved. 

Don't Judge Me | It Just Sounds So Biblical

I don't know the exact level of irony that will be displayed in what I am about to share, but I do know that this post may be perceived as having been woven with a substantial amount of irony.  Given that it seems as though I may be judging others who are judging others for judging them.  Yeah, that just happeed.

So, here goes.

There seems to be a surge of memes posted online demanding that others not judge them.  To drive the point home?  They quote Jesus. 

Luke 6:37

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged."

Matthew 7:1

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged."

Seems straight forward, right?  Jesus said don't judge, so people shouldn't judge me, right?  I don't think that was His point.

I think this teaching falls under the same category as so many teachings I've sat under, as soon as I hear the word spoken, I think of someone else who should hear it.  Funny how that works.  We are always so quick to apply the commands of God to other people, instead of ourselves.

We always want to be forgiven, but struggle with forgiveness.
We declare "Don't judge me!", yet often judge others.
We say others should be generous to us, but find that we withhold.
We remind others of unconditional love, yet have many filters on our own.

Jesus tells the story of an unmerciful servant in Matthew 18.  To summarize what occurred, a servant was forgiven a pretty significant debt by his king.  Shortly thereafter, he ran into an old friend that owed him a pretty minor debt and had him thrown into prison when the friend was unable to repay him.  When the king heard this, he had some pretty harsh words for the servant and then reinstated the debt, throwing his butt into prison. 

I understand that forgiveness is a very specific topic, one that should not be glossed over, but I believe that this command against judging others should be grouped in with forgiveness relative to its application. 

Jesus never commanded that we not judge others so that we might avoid being judged by people, but rather so that we might avoid being judged by God.  I'm not suggesting that we won't be held accountable for our (in)actions, because we will.  I'm merely stating that the purpose of His command was that we might address the issues in our own hearts and make adjustments. 

The world as each of us knows it would change dramatically for the better if we simply stopped concerning ourselves with what judgements other people made of us and spent some time judging our own hearts and motives.  We need to take down our "Don't judge me!" banners and begin the work of becoming renewed.  

Trust me, if you are overly concerned with what others think of you and spend time defending yourself, you will spend very little time with the Holy Spirit searching out the real issues in your heart and making the necessary adjustments.  Once in defense mode, it's hard to let God show us what is broken.

I can only tell you what I, myself, have gone through.  Or rather, what I am still going through.  So, don't worry!  You are good company.

Can we all agree to stop posting those stupid memes now?

Apologetics All Around!

(DISCLAIMER:  None of the following individuals, Sammy Adebiyi, Ed Stetzer or Carlos Whittaker have endorsed this post or anything in it.  I am merely sharing some of the posts that I've recently enjoyed reading.)

No wait!  I meant, APOLOGIES all around!  Dang!  I never understood why those two words can mean something so different and yet sound so similar.
 

I do think though, that if we sprinkled our apologetics with a few apologies, people might be interested in our Gospel.

SAMMY WROTE.

Recently, Sammy Adebiyi wrote an article for Prodigal Magazine which chronicles his experience of repentance toward the LGBT community.  Please, please, please read it HERE.

After reading his article, I posted a comment that included this statement:

"I'm really glad that you took the public stance you did Sammy. I think more people with public platforms should do what you did."

 

 

Then it occurred to me.  Why can't we?  Why can't Christians who have a public platform that feel the same way Sammy feels, the same way I feel, say "Sorry"?  And not just at random, but on the same day.  I mean if Christians can organize an impromptu eat in at Chick-Fil-A, then why can't those of us who felt a little nauseous on that day take a day to express how we feel?

A VOICE.

We need a voice.  Not just one voice, but many voices.  Brave voices.  Loving voices.  Gentle voices.  Loud voices.  Voices who sound a whole lot like Jesus and who will make a pact to post on their Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, Blogs, Google+, Bumper Sticker, Lapel Button, or whatever, on Tuesday, June 25th 2013:

 I'M SORRY

ED WROTE.

I read an article on Ed Stetzer's blog yesterday and it really brought clarity to the issue for me (please read it HERE).  There is no way to fully reconcile two such polar opposite points of view, BUT something must be done and it must be done soon.

As Christians, we serve a God that always sacrifices first, loves first, forgives first, gives first; so, in light of this example, we must waive the white flag of humility first.

LOS WROTE.

I was scanning my twitter feed late last night and @loswhit tweeted he would be posting an interview with a homosexual Christian today.  My heart leaped.  I was so excited and scared to hear what he or she would have to say.  I believe if you read it, which I'm kind of insisting you do, (read that HERE) it will really cement the truth of my cause.  At one point in the interview, after being asked to give advice to Christians, she said:

"Listen to them and love them gently. Even acknowledge and apologize for how the Christian community has wounded them."

There it is.  Simple as the sky is blue and as difficult too.  We can't ignore this any longer.  We must all become Jesus and jump into the middle of the mob and demand of ourselves and each other “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Then, we must drop our stones.

DROPPING OUR WEAPONS ≠ TWISTING THE WORD OF GOD

But you know what does, not loving people.  We twist the truth of the Gospel when we tell a single person that Jesus doesn't love them just as they are, but we also twist the truth of the Gospel if we would suggest that Jesus ever leaves us just as we are, but that is a discussion for a different day.

Today?  Today, we, Christians, just need to apologize and not just to the LGBT community, but to anyone that ever felt the searing stares of rejection as they walked into a church service.  Anyone who was ever told to go and get their life together BEFORE they could come into the presence of Jesus.  Anyone who felt like they had to LIE about who they were just to fit in with some "ideal" Christian community we tried so hard to sell everyone.  Anyone who we ever convinced that Jesus was a big ol' judgmental unforgiving guy like the rest of us.

He's not.  And before the big day of Apologies rolls out, I must say I'm sorry. 

For any moment that I EVER made anyone feel less than worthy of love.  We are all in the same boat.  We need Jesus.  And the GLORIOUS thing about HIM is that He is available to all of us, just as we are.

Join me, won't you? 

Please, please, please, I BEG you to:

1) Read the articles I posted.  They are wonderful resources.  If you have time, read other articles these great men have posted.

2) Comment below if you're in. (PLEASE BE IN!)

3) Share the plan!  If you're reading this, you likely have a Twitter, a Facebook, a Pinterest, an email account, or a piece of cardboard you can make a sign with.  Let's get the word out. 

If you are a Christian and you don't like this plan, then please do us all a favor and keep it to yourself.  We are trying to build bridges and cross them, not burn them as quickly as we build them.

Jesus never met us halfway.  So, let's build bridges... then cross them, to the Glory of Him Who loved us first.

Give Until It Doesn't Hurt Anymore

This past weekend I experienced a moment in the Dollar Tree store.  Yep, the Dollar Tree.

 

I was in the process of purchasing picture frames for photos which have been floating around our house for months, just waiting to be crumpled, when the cashier asked if I wanted to donate money toward some such organization.  Without even considering her question, I responded "No."  If you are wondering if it was, perhaps, an organization unworthy of my assistance, I would say it's not likely the case.  As I type this, I can't even recall which organization, but I'm sure they were doing good in the earth and could have used my few bucks.

 

If you are wondering if there was another reason, there's not one.  I'm just a jerk and what I am about to reveal to you next will show you just how big of a jerk I really am.

 

Despite my quick decline to the cashier, I did have a fleeting thought.  "If she knew how much I already give, she wouldn't ask me for more."

 

Can we all say wow!?

 

It was definitely a thought that gave me pause.  I would like to say it was a thought deposited into my mind from an alien land, but it wasn't; this thought was all mine.  It reflected what is was in my heart.  My lack of generosity.

 

You see, giving can be painful.  The thought of it can make me recoil immediately and violently.  On this day, a simple request for a menial amount of help was met with:

ANGER    bitterness   ingratitude   PRIDE   fear

and not

Love    Generosity    Joy    Gratitude

 

Fortunately, God didn't let me just feel bad for a second and move on with my day.  My heart pondered this for the remainder of the day; I even found myself contemplating the old saying "Give until it hurts."  Then suddenly the words "Give until it doesn't hurt anymore" drifted through my spirit.  You see, much like every other habit I've established in my life, I can choose selfishness or generosity, but I must practice. 

 

I must push through the pain of giving small to get to giving big. 

 

I must build up my tolerance for giving to people I love to delve into giving to people I, perhaps, don't care for or simply don't know. 

 

I must perceive this pain of giving as a trigger or demand to give without a another thought. 

 

I must be generous on every occasion, whether it be at church, at home or at the Dollar Tree.  Wait, that sounds familiar.

  

Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

 

This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else.   2 Corinthians 9:10-13

Originally, I was going to only post the verse specific to being generous on every occasion, but when I began to read the verses before and after the one I wanted, I realized it was painting a bigger picture. 

Do you see it?

 

God is generous with us in order that we may be generous with others and our confession of the gospel is made complete in our obedience to God through our generosity to people.  There's so much more at stake than my $2. 

So, there it is, in black and white, just in case, you thought I was just making it up. 

Give until it doesn't hurt anymore.

Inherited Religion

I come from a long line of Christians.  In that lineage are Catholics and Non-Catholics, evangelists and prayer warriors, pastors and missionaries.  Ok.  The missionary thing came along with my younger brother, but as a lineage with bi-directional implications, a couple of missionaries are in there.

You get my point though, right?  It would seem that ministry work, or at least religion, might be something that is passed down from generation to generation.  Certainly, there's an implication of it in future generations.  Or is there?

In a world where Christianity has apparently become a political leaning/agenda and more of a cultural issue than anything, I wonder what that means for me as a Christian Mom.

Conservatives raise little conservatives, who may stray into the liberal camp during college and  occasionally retreat to their conservative upbringing.  Liberals often find unity in sticking it to the man, that man usually represented by a middle-aged, white, upper-class C(c?)hristian man.  Lines being drawn, erased, moved back and re-drawn, leaving everyone who lay in neither camp, somewhere in the ever increasing gap which used to be "the greater good".

But, this is not a political post.  It's really not, I promise.

I've just recently come to the realization that being a Christ following mother of 4 is somewhat complicated by the fact that Christ is no longer treated as a Person in this country (world?), but more as a box I'm relegated to when discussing social issues.  Though, for me, party lines are irrelevant as it pertains to my firmly held beliefs.  I have registered with a party, with which I share certain values I have deemed as imperative, but I refuse to choose a representative solely based upon an affiliation.

Ok.  For real, this is not a political post.

My point in all of this is this question, "If being a follower of Christ is found in a personal relationship with the Person of Christ and having a life that reflects that relationship, how does one raise children into Christianity?"  If it were simply religion, or a bunch of strictly held social beliefs, it would be easy.  I could simply say, "Do this, don't do that, say this, don't say that." and not care if it meant anything to them, so long as I had a little robot-clone.  However, for me, that could never be the case.

I deeply desire that my children would know what it is to sit in His presence; to pray and truly know that He's listening; to hear the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit speak to them as they navigate this life.  As much as that is my deepest desire for my children, it's something I cannot MAKE happen.  It's also something I would never WANT to make happen.  I don't want to be a fake and I certainly don't want my kids to be big fakes either.

So, the other night, when my son said he wanted to ask Jesus to be his Savior and to start the journey that would make my deepest desire for him come true, I had two thoughts: (1) Have I done something where he feels like he HAS to do this right now, to which I answered no; and (2) Have I done something wrong that he didn't do this sooner, to which I also answered no.  You see, I have a strict philosophy that I will not ask my children leading questions relative to Jesus.  I refuse to encourage them to please me by not being themselves.  I value authenticity in others, and I expect it of myself.

I don't have any great advice, or heartwarming anecdotes in this post.  I just have thoughts.  Thoughts that tell me that Christianity is not some political agenda or affiliation.  Thoughts that tell me following Christ is not about the box I check when I'm filling out hospital paperwork or finding continuity with my families historical penchant for ministry work.  It's about me and Jesus.  That's it.  Further, that's what it has to be for my kids too, and if they can't make that genuine commitment until they are 12 or 32, it must be theirs to make.  

My role is simply to paint such a detailed picture of Christ in (with) my life, that when they meet Him they recognize Him immediately and want Him for themselves.  But, they can't have my Jesus, they have their own picture to paint.    

Ironically, I did not actually paint this picture of Jesus.
I just thought it was cool.

What's It Worth To Ya?

I am a bargain hunter.  I love them.  I have told many a person that I am more impressed by someone getting a steal of deal than I am of someone paying big money for that same item.  Name brands don't impress me either, so saying you spent $120 on jeans will induce nothing but a face full of pity from me, no matter what name they may have printed on the back.

 

You know who else is a bargain hunter?  Satan.  (Wait, was that a satan juke?  Does such a thing exist?  Does the lack of alliteration take away from the effect?  Forget it.)  You know, the devil.  The fallen angel of light, Lucifer.  Now, I'm not saying that bargain hunting is evil, so before you light those coupons on fire and swear off Ross, hear me out. 

 

John 10:10 states that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy.  That sounds bad and very noticeable, right? 

 

If you've been robbed, you would probably realize it at some point.  "Well, I had my cell phone when I was at Starbucks, then... Dang it, I think that dude stole my phone!  Crap."

If you or someone you loved was killed, you might just be a bit affected.  Unless you're an atheist or have no belief in an afterlife , in which case, if you were killed you might not notice that you ceased to exist.  But, surely SOMEONE would notice.  "Did ya hear?  Tom was killed!  Yeah, real sad and crazy deal." 

 

Should destruction come to your home, I would think you would take note. "Geez, Martha, there appears to be some type of hole in the living room wall." 

 

These terms: steal, kill and destroy, have incredibly violent overtones; "take notice" overtones.  But, what happens when he shows up in a disguise and wants to bargain?  Will we even realize it?

 

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

BUT I WAS SO HUNGRY

In Genesis 25, we read about fraternal twin brothers named Jacob and Esau.  As boys can typically be, their relationship was pretty competitive.  Having a crazy, manipulative mother probably didn't help matters, but that's a story for a different day.  So, if you haven't read about them, Esau was a hairy outdoors man, an excellent hunter and, technically, the oldest.  He was his fathers favorite.  Jacob, the youngest by mere seconds, however, hung out around the house and was favored by his mom.  A small portion of the long story short, Esau came home one day from working outside or hunting or some such other grunty man activity and was starving.  In that moment, he was easily convinced to trade his birthright (a BIG deal back then) for lunch.  Yep, lunch.  The writer of the book of Genesis goes on to explain that Esau despised his birthright and later when he changed his mind and wanted it back, it was too late.

 

Esau was an idiot.  Am I right?  A colossal imbecile.  He was so short sighted that he couldn't even think beyond his next meal.  It's shocking, really.  I mean, who would trade something with irreplaceable value that has generational implications for something so fleeting as a meal? 

 

Apparently, Esau, but I would too.  Even you would.  If I were being honest, which apparently I am, I have already done it and chances are, so have you.  You might be saying at this moment: "Wait.  What?"  We'll get to you and me in a minute, let's talk about Esau some more.  It'll make me feel better. 

 

Esau understood deep down what he was giving up, but he couldn't hear that voice over the clanging of his flesh.  If he did, he silenced it with excuses ("but I might DIE of hunger" - dramatic much?) or flat out lies ("this isn't final, I can always get it back" - Sorry, buddy, didn't need a written contract back then).  In the end, he would lose it all to Jacob; his birthright and eventually his inheritance.  But, this post isn't about devious Jacob or manipulative Rebekah, though they certainly had their parts to play, it's about Esau and us, and how we all fall victim to the seemingly innocuous bargains of the enemy. 

YOU HAVE A STEAK (PUN INTENDED) IN THIS TOO

 

Don't be fooled, this whole birthright and inheritance thing applies to us today, even if we don't fully understand it or catch the greater implications.  The Bible is full of promises God has made to each one of us regarding not just the next life, but this life we are living now.  Promises that we really should familiarize ourselves with so that we can avoid despising them simply for lack of understanding.  We also all have bodies we inhabit, sacks of flesh that try to boss us around; convince us that we need stuff NOW; persuade us NOT to do what we know we ought.  In addition to that, we have an enemy that is constantly looking for a foothold; ways to catch our attention; opportunities to gain access to our ear.

How often do we bargain our blessings away for dollar store merchandise?

The enemy can't steal your salvation, but he can make despising your birthright and inheritance as children of God seem palatable, even if just for a moment.

Church on Sunday?  Nah, I'm tired.  Fast on Monday?  But, I'll faint.  Read my Bible?  I have stuff to do.  Pray?  I'll do it later.  Lie?  It's only one slightly gray lie.  Sex with my girlfriend/boyfriend?  Man, that purity stuff is so old fashion, plus we're gonna get married anyhow.  Porn?  At least I'm not having sex.  Third dessert?  What difference does it make.  Forgive that person that abused me, abandoned me or offended me?  The pain runs deep, God will understand.  Give to my friend in need/the homeless guy/my church?  I barely have enough to pay for cable.  The list goes on and on and is crafted specifically for each of us.  So what bargaining chip catches your eye? 

IT'S OK, YOU DON'T HAFTA

The absolute truth is that none of the above or anything else on the long list of bargaining chips will keep you from heaven, but it may keep you from experiencing the best God has for you in this life.  Think this is OT and doesn't apply to us in the modern church?  Well, let me show you where this whole blog started for me. 

 

Make sure that no one is immoral or godless like Esau, who traded his birthright as the firstborn son for a single meal.  You know that afterward, when he wanted his father’s blessing, he was rejected. It was too late for repentance, even though he begged with bitter tears.  Hebrews 12:16-17 (NLT)

Esau never lost the relationship he had with his father... just the blessing his father so desired to bestow upon him.  So pause for a moment the next time when the right thing feels uncomfortable or requires a little effort or sacrifice and consider what you might be giving up when you satiate that bratty flesh of yours.

Don't worry, I'm just passing along a lesson that I am in the midst of learning myself.

P.S.  What in the world do you think that girl is selling up there?

Christianity: Not Communicable/ Not Legislatable

Yeah, legislatable... it's not a word.  I don't care.

In any case, over the last few weeks I've had some stuff forcing its way out of me. Pushing its way into my thoughts, overflowing my heart into my consciousness.

Here's what it is in summary:

Salvation can no more be distributed to people through mandated morality than it can be transmitted throught the exchange of saliva.  If it could, then my husband could have become a Christian much more quickly, and we would be able to save over 300 billion people from an eternity apart from God through a single act of legislation.  

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

But, that's not how God designed the system and God did design the system, not man.  (We won't discuss the system man designed in this post, because man did design his own system.)  

Free Will.  Sacrifice.  Free Will.  Sacrifice.  Free Will.  Sacrifice. 

Those two actions are rotated throughout all of History and they have brought us to this place, or perhaps, we have brought them to this place.  The fall of man was a choice of free will.  To mitigate its consequences, there was sacrifice upon sacrifice upon sacrifice until Jesus.  He freely chose to sacrifice Himself, so that we could freely choose Him and then sacrifice our lives for the lives of others, so they could freely choose Him, etc. 

Are you catching the trend?  The lives of those you are fighting for hinge on their free will to choose and Jesus' sacrifice and in many ways YOUR sacrifice, my sacrifice.  Our freedom and salvation have not been bought so that that we can sacrifice the salvation of others so that we can exercise our free will.  Confusing and somewhat circular?  Think about it, through Christ you are free, more free than you ever were under the bondage of sin, but sometimes we focus on our freedom so much that we fail to exercise wisdom and choose to sacrifice our comfort so that others can come to know Jesus.  Sometimes, we have to give up our freedom for the salvation of others.  

Isn't that the point?  People meeting Jesus?  People experiencing a grace and love unlike anything they've ever known?

I have yet to find the scripture that instructs Israelites, Jews or Christians to mandate that all those living in their geographic vicinity abide by their customs or laws outside of conversion.  If you know where that verse is, I'd love to read it.  Instead, I have noticed that the entirety of the Bible, from the Old Testament through the Gospels and into Revelation, speaks often and eagerly about self-examination, both as individuals and as a religious community.  (If, by chance, you struggle with the word religious because it's too religious, then you can either stop reading or get over it.  I'm using it!)  I believe we are to systematically correct our own known sinful behaviors, ask God to reveal those behaviors/beliefs that we have not yet identified as being sinful and correct them, and, in the order outlined in the Bible, bring to light sin in our Christian community around us and correct those.  Not find sin in the unsaved and demand that they get in-line with the Bible.

At some point, we have to admit the folly of mandating our Christian beliefs as the American belief system.  They are simply not one and the same at this point in history and we need to stop.  We have our roles as Americans and our roles as Christians and though one affects the other, we cannot confuse the two.  Jesus is not American, He is God.

Here's the thing, people need Jesus and we can't do that if we spend all of our time telling them HOW they need to live and fail miserably at bringing them into the presence of Jesus.  Living Gods way makes no sense outside of His presence.  Once they know Jesus, the Holy Spirit can start revealing behaviors and beliefs they need to change and if He uses us in revealing those issues, great, if not, great.

Regardless of how that unfolds, with ALL people we need to love always, forgive time and again, and  abound in grace.  Treating others not just how we would like to be treated, but in the same manner Jesus treated us. 

Let's choose to sacrifice our freedom so that others can find freedom in Jesus.  The American dream is great, but the dreams God has for us and those He loves are greater.

Hard?  Yes.  Possible?  Yes.  Required?  Absolutely!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me, and know my anxieties;

And see if there is any wicked way in me,

And lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

The Tilled Soil of My Heart

I purposefully forgive people that have injured me or whom I perceive as having injured me. 

I pray regularly that God will lend me His eyes to see others as He sees them, in both their current condition and as He created them to be.

I make an effort to be generous in every situation. 

I pray.  I read the Bible.  I attend church services and prayer meetings regularly.  I try to connect to other women the best way that I can.  I make adjustments as God reveals them... and yet.

And yet, every now and then when God tills the soil of my heart I am still surprised by what I find just inches under the tidy surface.  Just a little tilling and things are pulled to the top.  Heart conditions I didn't even know were there. 

Photo by Free Digital Photos

Just because I didn't know something was there, buried deep in my heart doesn't change the fact that it exists.  I found that a large, ragged, black rock of jealousy was patiently laying in wait to trip me, and trip me it did.  It managed to trip me so suddenly, I didn't even realize what was happening.  I didn't see it coming.  Once my feet were underneath me again, I didn't pick it up right away, not wanting to admit it was there.  I was even tempted to cover it back up again and hope that I wouldn't trip on it in the future.  I mean, I'd gone so long without tripping over it, maybe it wouldn't happen again if I just buried it deeper.  Instead, I kept looking at it.  Kicking it.  Studying it.  Wondering where it came from.  Wondering what it meant.  I condemned myself for its mere existence and the bitterness began to creep in. 

Before service on Sunday, while talking to my friend, the trigger for my jealousy, I blurted it out.  Confessed it into the open, into the light.  It was awkward, but, fortunately for me, he was gracious. 

I went into service feeling even more odd than when I walked into the building earlier that morning. God had another plan, as He often does, and I had a little face to Face time with God during the worship part of the service and here is what God showed me:

1.  God will allow things to occur in my life, and yours, that reveal our heart issues.  Things we may not even be aware of.  But, don't worry...

2.  When that happens, we have the opportunity to bury it deeper or get it out into the open, into the light.  Always choose the light.

3.  When God does this, it's not about condemnation, but rather about the opportunity to be diagnosed and begin treatment.  If you had cancer, wouldn't you want to know so you could begin treating it right away?  These heart issues behave in the same fashion, if left to their own devices, growing and spreading and bringing destruction into the healthy parts of our lives.

4.  We are not alone in our struggle.  Not only do we have God on our side, we must give our friends the opportunity to support us in our struggles and support them in their struggles.  On some level, people must know that they need support from people who have traveled the path that they themselves are traveling.  Across the board, be it medical issues, relationship issues, addiction or trauma, there are support groups for every major life issue that arises in the natural.  Why would we believe that we could go it alone when it comes to spiritual issues, you know the eternal issues?

My point is that no matter where we are on the path of following Christ, if we are still on this earth, we have issues.  It's OK to be surprised when God reveals them, just don't bury the issue.  Dig it up.  Put it in the light!  Let God and let other's help you deal with it and then... move on!

Turning 35

Today I turned 35.  Fortunately, I stayed busy for the most part.  Able to not think about the implications of such a milestone, that is until someone would say the words... "Happy Birthday".  Then my mind would begin following the myriad of rabbit trails.

As a result of my exhaustion (which may or may not be related to my agedness) and the late hour, here is a list of my top 10 thoughts on turning 35.

1.  I have a good life (on all fronts), so I certainly can't complain.
2.  Jesus can use the aged as well as the youthful, so I'm still good.
3.  35 is not really that old.  I suppose when I'm 70, 35 will look pretty good.
4.  I would say that I don't feel 35, but I don't know whether or not that's true.  I suppose I just don't feel different.
5.  Regardless of my chronological age, I refuse to become a boring grown-up type.  I doubt that will change any time soon.
6.  A short 5 years ago I couldn't have said this, I have more than my fair share of genuinely good friends.  I'm not offering to give any of them up, but I am definitely making up for my antisocial start to life.
7.  If I had to give up what I've learned in the last 6 years to weasel my way back into my 20's, I'd pass on that deal all day long.
8.  Though I hope, hope, hope it's true, even if it's not, I enjoy being told I don't look my age.  (Don't worry, it won't cause me to favor anyone, so telling me that won't get you anywhere special with me.)
9.  There are some culturally/socially expected things I may have not done in my life... but I like who I am and I really like who I'm becoming and I wouldn't change a thing.
10.  I expect that when I turn 45 I will have an even better life, found myself continually surrounded by genuine people with whom I have a great mutual love and respect, grown in wisdom, been used by God in abundance and still won't look my age.

As my husband would say "Cheers!"  I hope you enjoyed my special day...

P.S.  Being further evidence of item 5 noted above, during my birthday weekend I played Mortal Kombat VS DC Universe, wherein I played Wonder Woman pretty consistently.  My kids begged me to switch characters, to which I replied "I've been pretending to be Wonder Woman since I was 4, I'm not stopping now."  On that note, I leave you with this:

Intermittent Ramblings

All things seem to move and progress in waves.  Light, sound, water, landscapes, even life, both for civilizations and individuals.  People throw around sayings like "History repeats itself" and "What goes around, comes around" without considering the implications.  There's a resonance in life we witness every day and it is only the lack of vision that keeps us from identifying it.

Photo by Victor Habbick

Generations of men and women alike, making choices against which they have been forewarned, only to arrive at the same end result as their parents and grandparents before them.  There is no moral cellular memory of which to speak or rely upon.  Neither wisdom nor hope is genetic.  Intelligence, sure, but intelligence lacking in wisdom and hope is really a death sentence for the soul.  The mind will always convince itself it knows best.  Wisdom says otherwise and seeks out truth. 

As children we are shown a path, hopefully a good one, but it's not the only path.  There are always choices to be made.  To follow the yellow brick road or not to follow the yellow brick road, that is the question.  Often times we look at the red road or the blue road or the overgrown footpath and believe everyone must. be. wrong.  We have taken the words "Question Authority" and interpreted them as "Disregard Authority" and "Ignore Wisdom".  So we take the dark path assuming, like Eve of the Garden Eden, that what we have been warned against is just one of those "best kept secrets", only to discover it really was the path to destruction after all. 

Each of us figures it out at some point.  Some of us decide to back track and find the Self-Illuminating Path, others wander up and down, lost, thinking that withstanding the dark is a badge of courage instead of a waste of energy.  Still others, knowing where the dark path leads, continue out of pride, clinging to the right to exercise their choice or out of fear that the lighted path is an illusion, like a mirage in the desert, ending in disappointment. 

Life waxes and wanes.  Reality surges and recedes.  At times we are drowning in a kaleidoscope of emotions or we find our selves parched flopping on the arid desert sand.  Some swim up to catch their breath, others drown.  Of those that find themselves shriveling, some dig down to where there is moisture, while the rest lay cracking from dehydration, resigned.  It just depends where on the undulating wave of existence you find yourself.  So what'll it be:  Sink or Swim?  Dehydrate or Dig?

We all start out surrounded by the brilliance of innocence only to pass through the gray pallor of adolescence to finally arrive in the great black void of the adult rat race and even that moves in waves and cycles; a path, whose pattern repeats in an overtly predictable rhythm, however boring or draining. 

Life is a song, a sound moving through time and space, unique and persistent, awaiting an adjustment, however slight or great, in order that it may discover its intended beauty.     

Search out the Lighted Path.  The path has been designed and constructed, it merely waits for a traveler. 

Burst through the surface of whatever is drowning you.  Cool, crisp air is resting just above you.

Dig down, deep if you must, to uncover refreshment.  The experience of drinking deep will be worth the effort.

Tune your song, it's already playing.  Ask yourself, when the final curtain falls and the last bow is taken, will the song resonating in my minds-ear be sweet or bitter? 

We're all in a moment... a moment that will step aside for another; each harmonizing with the last, continuing through all of eternity; a momentum that can only be redirected or halted with the purposeful interruption of a Word spoken before time itself. 

There is a better way.

 

Why Little Things Should Matter

On Sunday morning, as I open my eyes and consider rolling over, pulling my comforter over my head and going back to sleep, two things will come to mind:  1) I should have written the KIC (Kids in Celebration) teachers apology letters in advance for children I fully intend to drop off jacked up on at LEAST 3 different forms of sugar, and 2) how the Easter baskets left out on the floor of our living room are pretty laughable in light of the holiday they are intended to celebrate.

Photo by: Grant Cochrane

In an effort to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ, my children will stumble, eyes half closed to my living room only to find a basket with some marshmallow chicks, a chocolate bunny filled with peanut butter, jelly beans in bags made to look like a carrot and a DVD I picked up off of the sales rack at Target.  In light of what the Mary's discovered at the tomb on the very first Easter morning, an angel just kickin' it, waiting to tell them the greatest news of ALL time, perhaps an empty basket would be more apropos?  On second thought, no, because that empty tomb held so much!  It held promises simultaneously made and fulfilled; victory complete and only just begun; that seemingly empty tomb held the salvation of all, whether accepted or refused.

I guess marshmallow chicks pale in comparison.  Though delicious, a chocolate bunny wrapped in gold colored foil, doesn't quite get it done, even if it is wearing an ascot and smoking jacket.  At least at Christmas we can explain the presents by declaring it's Christ's birthday.

Look, I don't really mind providing my kids with the socially expected Easter baskets, I don't.  But does it end with the bunny?  Does it end with dressing them up in their Easter best and packing them off to church so enthusiastic teachers can explain the miracle of Easter and give them color sheets?  Does it end with a nice ham dinner at the folks?  Does it end? 

I've recently considered this idea of dreaming BIG because my God is BIG.  What Jesus accomplished on the cross was BIG.  Victory over death is BIG, the purification of sin is BIG, putting hell in it's place is BIG, but where do my dreams fit in?  Does the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ end at 11:59pm Sunday night?  To me it's all connected.

I'd like to think that one day, one of my primary skills used by God would be writing.  I like it.  It's part of my BIG dream.  Would it be cool if I wrote a book and it was published?  Yep.  Would it be cool if that somehow became my primary source of income?  Yep.  Would it be cool if all of that happened on a grand scale?  I don't know.  COULD God include my dream in His plans?  Yes.  But does any of that have anything to do with my purpose in this life?

I don't think so. 

John 13:12-17

¹² When He had finished washing their feet, He put on His clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” He asked them. ¹³ “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. ¹⁴ Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. ¹⁵ I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶ Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷ Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."

Aside from establishing taking communion, doing a final rundown on important teachings that the disciples (us too!) would need for their ministry work and praying... lots of praying, He established an example of service to others, and His example was HUGE, but is actions were small.  It was Jesus, He had the authority to have them immediately cleansed from head to toe and clothed in sparkling white robes, He could have pulled a full-on Oprah's favorite things on them.  But He didn't.  He stripped down, got on His knees and washed their feet.  He washed their filthy, mud encrusted feet.  It was small, but it was so BIG. 

Then He said, "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you."  Jesus always let by example.  So, it brings me back to my thoughts on dreaming BIG.  How do I define BIG?  Jesus defined big differently than our society.  Granted His entourage was BIG, but that's where the similarities end.  He performed singular, small, sacrificial acts that spoke volumes, that impacted all of eternity.  Sure, people's sins were forgiven, the dead were raised up, blind eyes and deaf ears were opened, feeble legs strengthened, demons driven out, but all done with a heart of service and in peace.  He didn't strive to do any of it.  He walked the path set in front of Him, He spoke the words given to Him, He performed the seemingly silly acts that He was given, He spent every moment saying "Yes." to the Father.   

His sacrifice on the cross was HUGE, but it was one step in front of the other on the road to Golgotha.  It was remaining silent in the face of His critics and condemners.  It was choosing to submit to God's perfect plan despite the cost to Him.  Even in the moment where the physical pain was excruciating as He hung on the cross, His earthly ministry spoke volumes and He considered the thieves surrounding Him.

Hebrews 12:1-3

¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.    

Even to the very end as He saw in faith the gates of hell thrown open, the veil torn, graves being tossed open, the Holy Spirit descending in the upper room, thousands being saved in a singled day, Stephen being stoned, Paul getting knocked on his hindquarters, every person that has been saved since that day and until the very end of time. 

His joy was not found in the end of His pain, but rather the salvation of people He loves so dearly.  I am convinced that if remaining on that cross, in that horrible pain would have saved even one more, He would have done so.

So, as we enter this most Holy and fun of weekends, please take a moment to make sure that your BIG dreams are not overshadowing the small tasks of service God has given you.  After you've colored your eggs and filled your baskets, be generous.  Be gracious.  Be forgiving.  Be loving.  Then let your BIG God come in and do what you cannot, heal the hurting, mend the broken, and save the lost.

Dream BIG with God's heart and let your small actions speak loud! 

Happy Easter!  Don't wait until Sunday to thank Him for all that He has done!        

Recommendations

Most of the time when people are trying something new, they ask their friends, acquaintences and sometimes the guy in front of them in line at the grocery store if they have a recommendation.  Need a recommendation for a restaurant?  Look no further, but before I answer, let me ask you this, "What kind of food do you like?"  Thai?  I have a couple of options.  Japanese?  Pizza?  Chinese?  Indian?  Burger Joint?  Bistro style?  Bakery?  Mexican?  Breakfast?  Greek?  I have a recommendation, most likely a few recommendations.  Granted, when you start asking about fancy, more expensive places, I can really only tell you what I've heard. 

Photo by Suphakit73

You need a recommendation for a movie?  I got-cho back.  What kind of movie you wanna see?  Horror?  Romance?  Comedy?  Romantic comedy?  Drama?  Suspense?  Action?  Documentary?  ROCKumentary?  Oh, yes, I have some recommendations for you. 

Wondering what shows I might think are worth a peek?  I don't typically watch T.V., but I have a few shows you can catch on Netflix. 

I may not have driven every type of vehicle on the market, but I can recommend vans similar to mine.  I can tell you which banks I've had a great experience at.  Need a doctor?  What kind, I may be able to help. 

Recipes?  Websites?  Blogs?  Books?  Baby products?  Yep!  I have some concise opinions on all of those subjects, all of which I am more than happy to quickly provide to anyone caring to listen.

But when you come to me and ask me something important, like:

My marriage is falling apart, what should I do?  Should I just say forget it and leave?  I never thought I'd get a divorce.

I've been struggling with depression for a while now.  I've been to a couple of doctors and they have me on these pills, but I'm tired of living this way.

I lost my job and don't know what to do next.

My children hate me, how can I fix this?

My life is a mess. 

I feel lost.

There must be more.

Am I so quick to answer then with my true recommendation?  You see my answer for all of these will be the same.  Jesus.  Sound too simple?  Not enough variation for the multiple issues you might have or the complexity of your specific situation?  That's ok.  The answer is still Jesus. 

Though sometimes I may fall prey to my own conceit and respond with what my brain and experience can produce, the answer remains unchanging.  I might even start by telling you about counseling or temporary employment services or recommend books penned by human authors,  though my first answer should always be the Author of Life, Jesus. 

Not sure how out of millions of life equations constructed by hundreds of thousands of variables based on circumstance, personal preference, geographic location, the actions of certain individuals, poor choices and perceived acts of God Himself, can result in the same answer Jesus?

Married too young + alcohol abuse + financial stress + I still love him though = you need Jesus
Can't pay rent + vehicle is broken down + we fight every day + I don't even want to get out of bed = you need Jesus
She doesn't believe in me anymore + I'm struggling to support my family + All I want to do is have a few beers and crash out = you need Jesus 
Bad diagnosis + Fear + Lonliness = you need Jesus

The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:15 - Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.

My reason?  He saved me.  My marriage was falling apart and He saved it.  I struggled with depression and He brought me joy.  My life was a mess and He got in the dirt with me and cleaned me up.  I was bitter and miserable and He changed me.  I was lost and He found me. 

Everyone's road is different, just like everyones life equations are different, but if you set your focus on the Star that always points true north, then you will make your way out of your issues and into a life of peace that can be found only in Him. 

Photo by Luigi Diamanti

Even if the problem you face isn't found listed above, your answer will always be Jesus.  He is the reason for the hope that I have. 

So What Now?

Now that I realize that I do not have as much time for fruitless deeds as I had thought (see blog post here for what that means), what now?

It's an excellent question.  One which I hope to answer over the next few posts.  After some consideration, I decided that since the internal Q&A had worked thus far, I would continue in that same vein.  As such, here are the questions that I plan to explore, saving any God inspired adjustments, redactions, inversions, corrections or additions.  My plan is to be as honest as I can be and hopefully by the end of the series, I'll have figured something out.  I would imagine that in turn, God will have used something to speak to you as well so that it won't be an utter waste of your time.  Being that I'm exploring my wasteful time spending habits, I wouldn't want it to be an ironic ending for you.  

Here are the pertinent questions that I've come up with so far.  I've  chosen to leave them somewhat generic in terminology so that you can ask yourself these questions along with me.  Are you ready?  I'm not sure that I am, but here goes!

1.  What will this "life" that I'm expecting look like, really?  Can I reasonably assume that it's possible?    

2.  What uses of my time do I employ that I find wasteful?  Take a few moments and jot them down.  Really, think about it.    

3.  What uses of my time do I employ that I find beneficial?   

4.  Using Jesus as the posterboy of a life well spent, what were some traits He possessed that were integral in Him accomplishing His purpose?  What traits do I possess that are the same?  What traits do I lack?

5.  Other than Jesus, list three (3) people from the bible whom I would most like to emulate.  What traits do they have that I already possess?  What traits do I lack?

6.  What keeps me from making the adjustments that I already know to make? 

7.  How do you balance worldly expectations and duties with a life crucified for Christ?  Is there a balance?  What do you think God expects?   

8.  Can I really walk with the kind of anointing and in the same power and influence that can reveal Jesus as the One true savior and God, cause the sick to be healed and the dead to be raised?  Am I crazy?  

I'll stop here for now.  If you think of a question I should be asking myself, or want to answer some of these for yourself, please be sure to share in the comment section at the end of each post.  It would be nice to know that I'm not alone.  Depending on how long winded I am, I'll probably tackle one or two questions per post.

Personally, I like to laze about watching t.v.  Anime is a favorite of mine, well, certain anime anyways.  I love Raising Hope and The New Girl and Big Bang Theory.  I like to watch movies and spend countless hours reading blogs, looking at all of the neat stuff on Pinterest, reading Facebook posts and whatnot.  But since most of those things don't produce anything all that useful in my life, save a few blogs I follow, there must be something I'm missing.  There must be a direct correlation between the time I waste and the fact that certain aspects of the life I believe God wants for me remain still afar off.  Maybe I'm wrong and God just pours out His power and anointing on people that generally loaf about, but based upon what I've read in Proverbs, I'm thinking not.