Heck Yes!

"Heck yes!"

This was the answer my son gave tonight as they asked him whether Jesus was his Lord and Savior.

He gave it without thought, without consideration, without hesitation.  He didn't look around the room to determine if it would be the right answer.  He did not contemplate how his energetic answer might make him look.  He just answered "Heck yes!"

Then he was baptized.

My parenting approach to all things Jesus is this, if my kids don't have a relationship with Jesus, I don't want them to fake it to make me happy.  Though I am ever eager to figure out what each of them is going through and what they think about, well, most everything, I choose not to force them to say or do things for the sake of saying or doing them.  Yes, I believe in making kids go to church, but church is not what I'm talking about.  I'm talking about choosing Jesus and choosing to follow Him every day.  Those are two different things.

The Bible says I should train up my children in the way they should go so when they are older they will not depart from it, it doesn't say manipulate them to stay on the path.  It doesn't say force them to train themselves, all the while I sit on the side lines yelling at them.  This idea of training brings to mind a person out there in the field or on the track, coming along side the athlete correcting positioning, illustrating their tried and true knowledge and encouraging them to keep going.  Most people who train others are qualified based upon their own past performances and continued practice.

So, when God tells me to train my children up, I know He's calling me to a higher standard of living, so I can show them how life should look.  Then after I've trained them, they can run their own race of their own accord, not at my mandate, and this process starts early.

Tonight, when my 8 year old son stood in front of the church and shouted "Heck yes!" in front of a few hundred people, I know his answer was his own.  We show him how life should look by our example, we show him how it should not look by pointing out where we missed the mark, we provide correction, we provide encouragement, then we watch as he continues to grow into a man who knows the path God has for him.  The path from which he will never depart.

Then we celebrate...

Why Trouble is Good for You

I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world.

John 16:33 The Message Translation

Photo By: Simon Howden

Dear God,

You created the universe.  You created every planet and every star.  You designed the layout of the universe.  You pieced together my human body, creating every last chromosome.  All of this, You did with just the sound of Your voice.  So, why can't you just pay my bills?  Get me a job I love?  Make me feel better?  Make my children just listen to me?  Make my life easier? 

I acknowledge that You are smarter than me, but these seem obvious.

Fondly,

Your Daughter Brina

If I wrote a letter to God today, that is pretty much what it would sound like.  As a daughter of the Most High, my Father created EVERYTHING and yet I have issue after issue after issue.  Currently, I would say that I'm facing more difficulties than I have since becoming a Christian.  The sheer quantity of the difficulties could be best described as a tsunami, wave after wave.  I can see the issues for what they are, I can see where they come from and that I can choose to climb to higher ground catch some perspective, or I can stay frozen and be overwhelmed.  I'm choosing to climb.

While praying on my drive to work this morning, God brought to mind various human fathers who find themselves rich and powerful, and more importantly He brought to mind their children.  Now, I don't actually know any of these people personally, so I've only got public reports to go off of, but if you think of people that were simply given whatever they wanted, every problem solved for them, no need unmet, the result is never good.  Minimally, they seem to be inconsiderate, operate outside of the law, and have no idea what life is like for everyone else in the world.  In the worst cases, they have no regard for the value of other people or life, itself. 

I know that people like to use the term "spoiled" lightly and interchangeably with "well taken care of", but if you look up the definition of spoiled, this is what you will see:  

SPOILED

a. To impair the value or quality of.

b. To damage irreparably; ruin.

c. To impair the completeness, perfection, or unity of; flaw grievously: spoiled the party.

d. To do harm to the character, nature, or attitude of by oversolicitude, overindulgence, or excessive praise.

 Archaic

a. To plunder; despoil.

b. To take by force.

v.intr.

a. To become unfit for use or consumption, as from decay. Used especially of perishables, such as food.

b. To pillage.

None of that is good.  Often times people like to "spoil" their children and almost all of the time, their children will pay for it.  It's a hard adjustment when you find out that you are not THE most important person on the planet, that you have to wait in line, that you won't get your way, and that you don't always get what you want.  Even the best parent of all time is not perfect and yet would know this; since we find ourselves with a perfect Heavenly Father that already knows this, we can expect not to be spoiled.

Though I think I would like it better if I never had to struggle or sacrifice for anything in life, somewhere, deep down inside, I know that's simply not true.  Never requiring your children to work or mature is bad parenting. 

Sure, God could swoop in and save the day, and I believe that He will if need be, but I know that there are valuable lessons to be learned in the struggle:

1.   Trust - You can't have trust if there is never an opportunity to doubt.

2.   Responsibility - Just sometimes, there is work that I need to do. 

3.   Confidence - God blesses me with the opportunity to do things successfully.  Cheering for my toddler as she puts away her toys is a blessing to me, but it also makes her feel proud!

Photo By: David Castillo Dominici

There are lots of reasons that I allow my children to struggle through situations in their life, but it's only ever the situations that are not detrimental.  Sometimes they get through it themselves and sometimes I have to swoop in at the end and save the day, but I always let them try.  As they get older and more mature, the areas that I let them work a little harder expand.  There are things that I will do for my 6 year old that I would never do for my 10 year old, and by this time next year, that list will have grown and shifted.  Sure, it might make me feel like the hero if I never let my kids do anything for themselves and keep them hobbled, but I'm not that selfish.  Neither is God.

How Jesus is like Ross Geller

I must confess that I like to watch reruns of Friends.  Admittedly, I never really got into watching it when they were running fresh episodes.  Though, I may have seen the final episode when it aired.  Honestly, I can't recall, since I'm sure I've seen a rerun on more than one occasion. 

Well, unless you've made it a point to not watch Friends, on some level you must be aware of the episode where Rachel discovers that Ross has wuved her since she was in high school.  If not, here's how the scene basically plays out (forgive me for any inaccuracies, but I'm not going to go watch it right now, so it's based on my poor, poor memory):

The gang is watching a video recording of the night of Rachel and Monica's senior prom.  Basically, they catch on camera the fact that Rachel's date flakes and that Ross, at his parents suggestion, changes into a tux and heads down the stairs to save the day.  The next thing that the camera catches is Rachel and Monica happily leaving with their dates, then flashes to Ross' sad, sad face.  Once Rachel sees this, she rushes to Ross and they live happily ever after... well, not really, THEY WERE ON A BREAK!!!!

Ok, back to Jesus. 

I think that if we were to all sit down and watch playbacks of our lives, in the moments when we needed Him the most, He was there ready to save the day, but we left with the jerk. 

In our lonliness or in our pain we turned to drugs and alcohol, but He was there.

In our financial distress, we turned to credit cards and loans, but He was there. 

In our heartache or feelings of abandonment, we turned to casual sex, but He was there.

In our grief or anger, we turned to food, but He was there.

In our shame, we turned to violence and rage, but He was there. 

He was there waiting, ready to grab our hand and help us; to love us.

Picture the worst moment in your life, it might be an instant or a decision stretched out over time.  But, you know the moment.  The moment that you can instantly go back to if you want to feel bad.  You may have more than one, I know I do.  But I have one in particular.  It's the place that in the midst of feeling like God might have a plan for my life after all, my mind goes to that moment and instantly I feel disqualified and unlovable.  It's a trump card.

This past weekend, during praise and worship, God pulled the trump card.  He'd never done that before, but in an instant, He took me back to that place, that moment all those years ago.  In that same instant, I felt defeated, confused, ashamed, sad, unlovable, disqualified.  Just as quickly as those emotions rolled in, Jesus held back the tide with just His nail scarred hand and said STOP!  Once He had my attention, He said "I was with you in that moment and despite your failure, I loved you then just as much as I do now, in this moment."

I cried.  Heck, I'm crying now as I recall that moment and type these words. 

And no matter how crazy all of this sounds, it's true, you know.   

I challenge you to pull up that moment or all of the moments where you feel you failed the most and see Jesus in that moment, standing with you, loving you just as much then as He does now.  You may be reading this and realize that you're still in that moment.  I want you to know that He's with you now and He loves you more than you can comprehend.  That He still sees you the way you were intended to be and He's just waiting for you to turn and run to Him.

I can't say that if Rachel had looked up to see Ross the day of her prom, that she would have rushed to him and dumped her boyfriend, she was in high school after all.  I also can't say that if someone would have caught my arm that day and said "He loves you, you know.  You don't have to do this.", if it would have changed anything in that moment.  What I can say is that knowing that now makes His love that much sweeter and poignant.  Most importantly, it has torched the trump card.   

So What Now... Q & A Part 1

So, last week I posted a blog named So What Now?, which was a follow up to a previous post I had written about really assessing my life and, more specifically, how I spend my time.  Neither post was earth-shattering or totally original, but both carry the potential to change my life, if I allow them to really take hold and sink down deep.  A wise man once requested of God:

                     "Search me, O God, and know my heart; 

                          test me and know my anxious thoughts.
                                    Point out anything in me that offends you,
                                              and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

I can, in the very least, simply follow suit.  In light of this, here are the first three questions on my list.

1.  What will this "life" that I'm expecting look like, really?  Can I reasonably assume that it's possible?    

WARNING:  If you are confused, offended, frightened, or angered by the use of words such a "miracle," "healing," "church," "evangelize," "sacrifice," "give," "tithe," or "Jesus" please continue to read under the pretense that I am incredibly sane and of above average intellect.

Illustration by: Idea Go

So, most of the time when I consider my life, I don't really make it much past the last known agenda item on my calendar.  Sad, I know.  I've never been one for 5 year plans or 10 year plans, with incremental increases of success and responsibility.  I've never climbed a corporate step stool, let alone a corporate ladder.  I'm kind of a day to day, week to week, paycheck to paycheck kind of gal.  I don't have a 401k or a retirement plan of any kind.  I suppose my plan is to work until I drop dead, which, come to think of it, isn't much a plan at all.  That being said, something you should also know about me is that I don't care about these things.  I feel as though I have so much to spend time being concerned over for the day at hand, that I don't really have much time to commit to the future.  Yes, I know.  I am in my mid-thirties and have four children, how could I not have a plan?!  It's appalling, I get it.

But, when I consider my future, I don't see retirement and playing golf or knitting.  I'm not saying that those things won't happen, you never know, I may learn to golf yet... or knit.  However, those are not my dreams.  Aside from an occasional vacation, I don't dream of relaxing on the beach or in a condo in Tahoe.  I don't really know what the setting will be for my future, but ultimately, I dream of speaking to ladies of all ages and encouraging them.  Speaking truth and breaking the bondages of the lies of the world.  Praying for people and seeing the miraculous manifest as God pours out His grace and mercy.  To see lives changed and souls saved.   To see love spread like wildfire, never to be contained. 

I dream of watching my children walking this earth with indelible footprints left wherever their feet tread.  I see a life filled with the annointing of God and to see that annointing crash over onto my children and their children like a flood.  That's all.  Short.  Simple.  Sweet.

All that said, I don't intend on going into full time ministry.  All of this in the context of working a secular job and raising a family.

2.  What uses of my time do I employ that I find wasteful?  Take a few moments and jot them down.  Really, think about it.    

Television.  Facebook.  Twitter.  Pinterest.  Movies.  My phone.  Worrying.  Being angry. 

3.  What uses of my time do I employ that I find beneficial?

Studying the Word of God.  Praying.  Reading books that are designed with spiritual growth in mind.  Spending time with my Husband.  Spending time with my children.  Attending church services, bible studies, retreats and conferences.  Connecting with women that I can influence and with women that can influence me.  Writing.  Praise and worship.  Working at my place of employment.  Spending time outside.  Sitting quietly.  Cleaning my house.  Spending my time serving others, be it at church, on my own, or through outreach organizations. 


These are my honest answers for these questions.  I can't wait to get through the next set. 

Please, please feel free to go through and answer these questions for yourself.  How you see your future shouldn't look like mine, or at least it doesn't have to.  Even if you aren't a Christian, these questions are great for doing a little internal inventory, so to speak.  So, jump in and leave a comment below!

Recommendations

Most of the time when people are trying something new, they ask their friends, acquaintences and sometimes the guy in front of them in line at the grocery store if they have a recommendation.  Need a recommendation for a restaurant?  Look no further, but before I answer, let me ask you this, "What kind of food do you like?"  Thai?  I have a couple of options.  Japanese?  Pizza?  Chinese?  Indian?  Burger Joint?  Bistro style?  Bakery?  Mexican?  Breakfast?  Greek?  I have a recommendation, most likely a few recommendations.  Granted, when you start asking about fancy, more expensive places, I can really only tell you what I've heard. 

Photo by Suphakit73

You need a recommendation for a movie?  I got-cho back.  What kind of movie you wanna see?  Horror?  Romance?  Comedy?  Romantic comedy?  Drama?  Suspense?  Action?  Documentary?  ROCKumentary?  Oh, yes, I have some recommendations for you. 

Wondering what shows I might think are worth a peek?  I don't typically watch T.V., but I have a few shows you can catch on Netflix. 

I may not have driven every type of vehicle on the market, but I can recommend vans similar to mine.  I can tell you which banks I've had a great experience at.  Need a doctor?  What kind, I may be able to help. 

Recipes?  Websites?  Blogs?  Books?  Baby products?  Yep!  I have some concise opinions on all of those subjects, all of which I am more than happy to quickly provide to anyone caring to listen.

But when you come to me and ask me something important, like:

My marriage is falling apart, what should I do?  Should I just say forget it and leave?  I never thought I'd get a divorce.

I've been struggling with depression for a while now.  I've been to a couple of doctors and they have me on these pills, but I'm tired of living this way.

I lost my job and don't know what to do next.

My children hate me, how can I fix this?

My life is a mess. 

I feel lost.

There must be more.

Am I so quick to answer then with my true recommendation?  You see my answer for all of these will be the same.  Jesus.  Sound too simple?  Not enough variation for the multiple issues you might have or the complexity of your specific situation?  That's ok.  The answer is still Jesus. 

Though sometimes I may fall prey to my own conceit and respond with what my brain and experience can produce, the answer remains unchanging.  I might even start by telling you about counseling or temporary employment services or recommend books penned by human authors,  though my first answer should always be the Author of Life, Jesus. 

Not sure how out of millions of life equations constructed by hundreds of thousands of variables based on circumstance, personal preference, geographic location, the actions of certain individuals, poor choices and perceived acts of God Himself, can result in the same answer Jesus?

Married too young + alcohol abuse + financial stress + I still love him though = you need Jesus
Can't pay rent + vehicle is broken down + we fight every day + I don't even want to get out of bed = you need Jesus
She doesn't believe in me anymore + I'm struggling to support my family + All I want to do is have a few beers and crash out = you need Jesus 
Bad diagnosis + Fear + Lonliness = you need Jesus

The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:15 - Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.

My reason?  He saved me.  My marriage was falling apart and He saved it.  I struggled with depression and He brought me joy.  My life was a mess and He got in the dirt with me and cleaned me up.  I was bitter and miserable and He changed me.  I was lost and He found me. 

Everyone's road is different, just like everyones life equations are different, but if you set your focus on the Star that always points true north, then you will make your way out of your issues and into a life of peace that can be found only in Him. 

Photo by Luigi Diamanti

Even if the problem you face isn't found listed above, your answer will always be Jesus.  He is the reason for the hope that I have. 

So What Now?

Now that I realize that I do not have as much time for fruitless deeds as I had thought (see blog post here for what that means), what now?

It's an excellent question.  One which I hope to answer over the next few posts.  After some consideration, I decided that since the internal Q&A had worked thus far, I would continue in that same vein.  As such, here are the questions that I plan to explore, saving any God inspired adjustments, redactions, inversions, corrections or additions.  My plan is to be as honest as I can be and hopefully by the end of the series, I'll have figured something out.  I would imagine that in turn, God will have used something to speak to you as well so that it won't be an utter waste of your time.  Being that I'm exploring my wasteful time spending habits, I wouldn't want it to be an ironic ending for you.  

Here are the pertinent questions that I've come up with so far.  I've  chosen to leave them somewhat generic in terminology so that you can ask yourself these questions along with me.  Are you ready?  I'm not sure that I am, but here goes!

1.  What will this "life" that I'm expecting look like, really?  Can I reasonably assume that it's possible?    

2.  What uses of my time do I employ that I find wasteful?  Take a few moments and jot them down.  Really, think about it.    

3.  What uses of my time do I employ that I find beneficial?   

4.  Using Jesus as the posterboy of a life well spent, what were some traits He possessed that were integral in Him accomplishing His purpose?  What traits do I possess that are the same?  What traits do I lack?

5.  Other than Jesus, list three (3) people from the bible whom I would most like to emulate.  What traits do they have that I already possess?  What traits do I lack?

6.  What keeps me from making the adjustments that I already know to make? 

7.  How do you balance worldly expectations and duties with a life crucified for Christ?  Is there a balance?  What do you think God expects?   

8.  Can I really walk with the kind of anointing and in the same power and influence that can reveal Jesus as the One true savior and God, cause the sick to be healed and the dead to be raised?  Am I crazy?  

I'll stop here for now.  If you think of a question I should be asking myself, or want to answer some of these for yourself, please be sure to share in the comment section at the end of each post.  It would be nice to know that I'm not alone.  Depending on how long winded I am, I'll probably tackle one or two questions per post.

Personally, I like to laze about watching t.v.  Anime is a favorite of mine, well, certain anime anyways.  I love Raising Hope and The New Girl and Big Bang Theory.  I like to watch movies and spend countless hours reading blogs, looking at all of the neat stuff on Pinterest, reading Facebook posts and whatnot.  But since most of those things don't produce anything all that useful in my life, save a few blogs I follow, there must be something I'm missing.  There must be a direct correlation between the time I waste and the fact that certain aspects of the life I believe God wants for me remain still afar off.  Maybe I'm wrong and God just pours out His power and anointing on people that generally loaf about, but based upon what I've read in Proverbs, I'm thinking not.           

Balentime's Day Special

I'm a self-admitted dis'er of all things Valentine's Day.  It's not that I don't like the concept of "love" or that I'm a bitter old cat lady or a man hater.  I just think that Valentine's Day is the perfect picture of how our society is so broken (in addition to the commercial celebration of Christmas and Easter, for that matter).  I would celebrate it happily if Valentine's Day created an opportunity to actually love someone sacrificially.  Instead it's a mandate for waste.  We buy flowers, jewelry, candy, stuffed animals, cookies, cards and the bevy of other Valentine's Day marketed products that we can't afford, don't need and send in bulk.  I myself fall prey to the holiday, buying boxes of Valentine's Day cards for my sons to address and hand out, only to receive a bag full of other cards from their classmates.  Sure, it's a great return on investment for the kids, but think about the herd of parents being shepherded to the "holiday" aisle in their local Target so our kids can all give each other thoughltess cartoon character cards that will be placed in the circular file of life, never to be thought of again.

Photo by Vichie81

We are training our children to be thoughtless.  I am training my children to be thoughtless and wasteful.  Take the socially accepted caricature of Valentines Day, add to it the socially accepted caricature of marriage and it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out why we have such a high divorce rate. 

I know what Love is.  It's a sacrifice and not just a minimal financial one.  It's a choice to be gracious every day.  It's a verb, not some fleeting concept that is synonymous with my hormone levels and emotions.  Love is more thoughtful and more beautiful than a fist full of roses grown and harvested by someone other than yourself for just this occasion.  Love is sweeter than a box full of chocolate squares.

It's unique and special and Valentine's Day, as we celebrate it, has turned it into a product that can be uniformly manufactured on a mass scale and distributed to anyone with a buck in their pocket, but in reality if you want to really show someone you love them, $1 will just not do. 

I believe in Love, I celebrate Love, I express Love, I accept Love, I share Love - and I do all of this all year round. 

If Jesus is the picture of Love, which He is, then how can anyone accept this fake representation of something that is so sacred.

I leave you with this: "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends."  John 15:13

Today and every day so many single, divorced, abandoned, lonely, hurting and bereaved people will drive home and wish they were loved because the great mistress of Valentine's Day says they are not.  Jesus says that they are and not just that they are loved, but they are loved more than anyone.

You see, I'm not hating on Valentine's Day or anyone that celebrates it, heck, I even wore a dress with pink polka dots on it today.  I cherish love.  But to me, love becomes a prostitute every February 14th and that makes me sad.