This is My Crowd

This is My Crowd
Picture by: Photography by Vicky Campos

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Thursday, October 27, 2011

On the Real: The Truth Is...

The truth is that unless you are my husband or children, you probably don't really know me all that well.  The truth is that even being my husband and/or children doesn't really get you past the red rope of my mind; they too find themselves limited in their access to what makes me tick. 

The truth is, the same could be said about you. 

Regardless of the facade we project to our friends, family members and even perfect strangers, there is a real person (soul) neatly tucked away in each body that walks upon this earth.  We may identify ourselves by what we see in the mirror each morning or by the "About Me" section of our Facebook, Twitter or blogging account, but the genuine "us" is found beyond the primping and coordinated clothing and the clever personal descriptions we leave for others to read. 

My Grandmother once told me when I was in my twenties that I needed to know who I was, beyond my titles as mother, wife, employee, friend, daughter and the numerous other interchangeable references that float above my head on any given day.  At the time, I thought, "Yes, absolutely!  I know who I am!"  But as time slipped by, and continues to do so, likewise has my grasp on who that woman is or was, if ever I even had a grasp at all. 

Who am I really without any reference to who I am to others or what I do for them?  Sadly, I'm not really sure.  I know that I'm a property manager/lease administrator/girl friday from 8 to 5, Monday through Friday.  I know that I'm a mother of 3 boys and 1 girl every moment of every day.  I know that I'm the wife of Rob; married for nearly eleven years.  I know that I drive a minivan.  I know that I help with Scarlet Revolution, however scattered and inconsistent I am.  I know that I volunteer at the "volunteer table" as well as the 2SM tent at church.  But, there should be more, right?    

I know that I have brown hair that is ever being grown out or chopped off.  I know that I have hazel eyes and hands that are too large for women's gloves.  I know that I'm 5' -7 1/2" tall, yes, I'm including the 1/2", it matters!  But, there must be more, right?

I know that I'm not a goal oriented person, preferring to travel the path of whim and scheduled chaos.  I know that I genuinely care about connecting to and helping girls and women I meet, though I'm still not entirely sure how to do that effectively.  I know that I love Jesus, however silly that sounds to you, and hope that my life will result in a "Well done!" at it's close.  I'm sure there's more, but this is at least a start, right?

Have you taken a moment out of the daily hustle and bustle to take your own pulse?  To check your motives and your life's trajectory?  Who are you, really? 

Here are some little known facts about me, some of which I intend to adjust, some of which I intend to embrace, and others of which just, well, are:

  • I'm a terrible housekeeper.
  • I hate folding clothes and will often leave baskets of clean clothes untouched for days.
  • I've never really gotten on board with the idea that work should come before play, thus the first two facts.
  • I love to watch cartoons.
  • I hate to yell at my kids, but I do more often than I'd like to admit.
  • I snack like a stoner, do with that information what you will, just know that I'm not actually a stoner.
  • I hate to get up early.
  • I love to make forts in my living room with my kids.  There is a chance that I will still do that when they move out.
  • I love to make my kids laugh; love, love, love it!
  • I am dedicated to learning to love people, I'm not really that good at it yet, but I'm committed to getting better.
  • I hate to exercise, but I'm trying to wrap my mind around becoming a runner.  Since, the only "extra" time I have is in the morning BEFORE I wake up, it's been a difficult undertaking that hasn't really "took" just yet. 
  • Lately, I haven't been spending as much time with my kids as I should.  This sucks, but it's about as honest as the color of my roots.
So, there you have it.  Again, I ask, who are YOU, really? 


  1. I know you, the real you... and I love everything about you!

  2. Great as always! I share your contempt for folding/putting away clothes!

  3. I'm the opposite for the first 2. I love a clean home ( otherwise I see it as chaos and it makes me crazy ) I do laundry almost everyday and dishes, well my machine does it, but I load it! I don't yell at my kids like I use to because I hate the way it makes me feel and the way it makes them feel. I try to encourage them first to correct them. I don't like waking up early but I love the morning sun :). I get excited on Monday's because it's homework day with my 1st grader who I am constantly reading to/with. We are almost at 2000 pages since September. I actually like exercise because zumba is fun and it cured me of high cholesterol. I love the idea of loving people but the action of love is not so easy with certain people.
    The whoever you are comes out good and bad depending on how life is going. Even if you never find out who you really are, you can know who you belong to without a doubt and that's Jesus :)
    p.s. my favorite thing in the whole world is getting hugs and kisses from my girls! Molly will grab my face and make me kiss her on the mouth...over and over and over

  4. Jennifer - I love a clean home too, because I agree it is chaos and I do feel crazy, I could just better use what little time outside of work. I also do laundry nearly every day, I just hate folding it. I, actually, don't yell at my kids either as much I did once, it just seems like even once is too many times. I find that if I must yell to get their I just can't be angry about it.

    That is awesome that you guys read so often together! I can't wait to hear more!